Author: Ioannis Batsios

Pages twelve and thirteen

I’m not sure if I technically wrote the scene properly. The action is Sam getting the money and taking it to the drop off point. The dialogue is Scene One continued. I hope it makes sense.

As for the drop off point, I need to go look for a good location so I can accurately set that up. I’ll probably go generic, but I love it when I recognize places in movies and I’m trying to do the same thing here.

(pages 12 & 13)
Sam sits patiently waiting for his money.

OFFSCREEN A telephone rings several times.

SAM (V.O.)
Hello?

VOICE (V.O.)
Where the fuck is my money?

SAM (V.O.)
What?

VOICE (V.O.)
You fucking heard me. Where the fuck is my money?

SAM (V.O.)
I’ve been busy getting it set up. I’ll have it tomorrow and bring it by.

Murphy brings the suitcase of money, sits down, opens it up and shows it to Sam.

VOICE (V.O.)
That’s no good.

Sam picks up one of the rolls of money and counts the money in the roll.

SAM (V.O.)
No? Why not?

Sam finishes counting the money in the roll and starts counting the numbers of rows. He finishes and closes the briefcase.

INT CAR – CONTINUOUS

Sam is in his car driving.

VOICE (V.O.)
There’s too much heat here. I need to you to drop it off at a different location.

SAM (V.O.)
Where at?

VOICE (V.O.)
Blah, blah, blah….I need to do some research here and come up with a good spot in downtown Detroit for Sam to put the money. I’d like an obscure place where he can throw the money in a dumpster. I’d also like him to fall into a mud puddle while doing it. These commands start annoying Sam.

SAM (V.O.)
Are you fucking with me? I’m not a god damn errand boy. Send one of your lackeys.

EXT. DOWNTOWN DETROIT – CONTINUOUS

Sam exits the car with the briefcase and starts walking to the location.

VOICE (V.O.)
Hey, asshole! Who owes who money here? Shut the fuck up and do what I say.

He walks down a grass patch and stumbles at the bottom of the hill and falls into a puddle of mud.

SAM (V.O.)
Then are you done with directions or do I need to hire a stenographer?

Sam finds a dumpster and stuffs the briefcase in it.

VOICE (V.O.)
The money better fucking be there.

Pages nine, ten and eleven

I’ve dreaded writing this scene forever. I haven’t been sure what I wanted to do with it. Do I want to put in the details of the amount, collateral and all that crap? In the end, I decided against it. All we need to know is that Sam needed a loan to raise the money to pay off Jimmy. I think the rest is irrelevant.

I’m afraid that this is the kind of scene that slows down a movie and has people reaching for the remote control. But I like it and I think it came out better than I would’ve envisioned before I sat down to write it.

(pages 9, 10 & 11)
INT BANK – MORNING

Sam enters the bank carrying a briefcase. A GREETER welcomes Sam at the door.

GREETER
Good morning. Can I help you?

SAM
Is Mr. Murphy in this morning.

GREETER
Sure is. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll see if he’s available.

Sam has a seat.

He picks up a financial magazine and looks at the front cover. The front cover has some smug looking man in a suit with a cigar in his mouth and money burning in his hand. The caption on the magazine reads: Take Financial Control Of Your Life!

Sam throws the magazine back on the table.

SAM
Ugh.

MR. MURPHY, 30s, baby-faced and dressed in a suit, walks over to Sam.

MR. MURPHY
Mr. Goldstein, how are you doing today?

SAM
Fine.

Sam stands up.

SAM
You’ve got everything in order?

MR. MURPHY
I sure do. Just follow me into my office.

Sam follows Murphy into his office.

The office is a typical cubicle style and everything is particularly neat. There is nothing to show that it’s even Murphy’s office, except for the name tag on the desk that reads John Murphy.

Murphy grabs a file behind his desk and transfer it to his desk. He opens it and starts pulling out papers.

MR. MURPHY
I just need you to sign some paperwork here. Take a look here and you’ll see these are the terms we’ve agreed to.

Murphy points at the paper. Sam raises his eyes.

Sam starts signing.

MR. MURPHY
Yeah, just sign where you see those yellow tabs.

Sam quickly signs where he needs to and doesn’t even read the paperwork.

MR. MURPHY
That’s interesting.

SAM
What is?

MR. MURPHY
Every other attorney I’ve had in here, getting a loan, read every single word on the page. It’ll take them an hour sometimes.

SAM
Is there someting in here I should be worried about? Balloon payments and all that bullshit?

MR. MURPHY
Oh no, no, no. I’m just saying that if I’d known you weren’t going to read it, I would have put that bullshit in there.

Sam just stares at him.

MR. MURPHY
I’m sorry, sir. It was a bad joke.

Sam finishes signing.

SAM
Where’s the money?

Murphy pulls out a certified check from the file.

MR. MURPHY
Should I deposit this into your account?

SAM
No. I’ll take cash.

MR. MURPHY
I’m sorry?

SAM
Cash. I want it in cash. All hundreds if possible. Put it in this.

Sam puts his briefcase on the desk. He opens it and it’s empty.

MR. MURPHY
I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can do that.

SAM
Why not?

MR. MURPHY
I don’t think we have that kind of cash.

SAM
You’re a bank.

MR. MURPHY
I know, but…

SAM
But what?

MR. MURPHY
I’ll be right back.

Murphy exits his cubicle. Sam sits back.

Sam looks around the office, but there is nothing interesting to look at. Sam turns to look for Murphy. He sees Murphy in an office talking to another BANKER. They talk for about two minutes.

Murphy exits the other banker’s office and walks back to his cubicle.

MR. MURPHY
Okay, Mr. Goldstein, let me have your briefcase and I’ll be right back with your money.

Murphy turns to go to the vault. Sam stops him.

SAM
John?

Murphy turns back around.

MR. MURPHY
Yes, sir?

SAM
Am I going to have to count it?

MR. MURPHY
No, sir.

Page seven and eight

Just plugging along.

(Pages seven and eight)

INT. OFFICE – MORNING

Sam enters his modest office. His legal assistant, CHERYL, attractive 50s, is sitting behind a desk working.

She grabs a pile of folders and lays them in front of her.

CHERYL
You need to sign the motions for Parker and Mills and we need to file these three petitions.

Sam grabs the files and starts signing away.

SAM
I need the petty cash.

Cheryl grabs a small tin from her desk and gives it to Sam.

Sam grabs all the money in it.

SAM
Is this it?

CHERYL
You haven’t seen a client this week.

SAM
Yeah, well, I’ve been busy.

CHERYL
With what?

SAM
Stuff.

Sam takes all the money in the tin and hands it back to Cheryl.

CHERYL
Don’t take it all. I’ll need change.

SAM
For what? You expecting a client today?

CHERYL
You never know.

SAM
Send them next door to get change. I’m going to the bank.

CHERYL
The bank? For what? Damn it, Sam, you’re not gambling again are you?

SAM
Don’t worry about it.

CHERYL
I’ll worry about it when it’s my paycheck you’re gambling.

Sam is out the door before she gets her last word in.

INT. BANK – MORNING

A GREETER welcomes Sam at the door.

GREETER
Good morning. Can I help you?

SAM
Is Mr. Murphy in this morning.

GREEETER
Sure is. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll see if he’s available.

Sam has a seat.

Page six

I need to do backgrounds on all of my main characters and get their loves, fears, ambitions, desires and all that crap fleshed out. It might create better dialogue and scenes. I’ll worry about it later. I’m trying to keep pace with the date. Today is the 8th and I’ve only written 6 1/2 pages, so I’m getting behind. I’ll try to get caught up tonight.

Here’s page six:

INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

DINO, 40s, is sitting in a chair across from a desk.

JIMMY
I never thought I’d have to chase you down, Dino.

Jimmy sits across from him at the desk.

DINO
I’m sorry, Jimmy, I’m sorry. Look, man, I got in over my head. I was double-crossed. I had a buyer lined up and on the way…

JIMMY
(interupts)
Dino, I don’t want the labor pains. Just deliver the baby.

DINO
What?

JIMMY
Aren’t women expensive?

DINO
What? Yeah, sure. I guess so.

JIMMY
You guess so? Didn’t Perry find you with your girlfriend, cheating on your wife?

DINO
Yeah.

Jimmy gets out of his chair and sits across Dino.

JIMMY
I have a wife. She’s expensive. Always with the shoes. So here I am, with a wife that I can barely afford, loaning you money. And you have a wife AND a girlfriend and you’re borrowing money from me.

There’s a several second pause in the room.

DINO
I don’t know what you want, Jimmy?

JIMMY
What I want? I want my money back plus the juice that’s owed on it on the date I’ve provided you to return it.

DINO
But I don’t have the money.

JIMMY
So I guess we have a dilemma. I guess, since you spent all my money on your girlfriend, I’ll have to have a girlfriend myself. Martin, go get me a girlfriend.

MARTIN
Yes, sir.

DINO
Jimmy, don’t, please. She has nothing to do with it.

JIMMY
Give me my money back and I’ll give you your girlfriend back.

Page four and five

This isn’t page four or five in the script, but the funny story I’m using for page two. It turned into a two page story.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

JIMMY, 50s, head of the Greek mafia and owner of the restaurant, is sitting at a large table with three other men, PETER, JOHN and ANGELO.

JOHN
…so I’m dating this girl and we’ve just been out on our second date and there’s nothing. No chimeia. No chemistry, nothing. I live about fourty-five minutes away from her. So on the way from her house, I decided to go to the strip club. I’m dating this attractive girl and nothings happening, so what the hell, you know?

ANGELO
You gotta do what you gotta do.

JOHN
I know, right? But I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to go. Was it Eight Mile or Seven Mile? I’ve just moved to Hamtramck and I knew it was one of those streets, but I couldn’t remember.

PETER
Uh oh, I know where this is going.

JOHN
Yeah. I chose the wrong street. I’m driving down seven mile and I don’t see anything. No bars, no clubs, nothing. Anyways, I get all the way to Van Slyke and I see a strip club on Van Slyke just off of Seven Mile and I think, ‘finally’. It looks like a regular titty bar and nice enough. I mean, no bells are going off or anything so I go in. I get in and look around and it’s all mavros. I’m the only white guy in there.

Everyone laughs.

JIMMY
So what did you do?

JOHN
Well, I wanted to leave, but I would have been too embarassed. So I sat down at the stage and ordered a beer.

Everyone laughs again.

JOHN
But that’s not the worst of it.

ANGELO
What, you came home with syphilis?

JOHN
Ha..ha..no. One of the girls sits down right in my face and pulls her panties open and shows me her pussy. I think she wanted me to eat it right there.

Everyone bursts into laughter again.

JOHN
I’m so scared, I just start throwing ones at her trying to get her to leave, but I was making it worse..

Everyone is in hysterics

MARTIN, 40s, a well dressed handsome man, walk from the kitchen and approaches the table.

MARTIN
Hey boss. We’ve got a problem in the kitchen.

JIMMY
Excuse me. Don’t finish the story, I want to hear the rest when I get back.
john
Will do, Jimmy.

Page three

It’s not lighting the world on fire, but I’ll take Stephen King’s suggestion and just keep writing no matter how crappy it is. Hopefully, by the end, it’ll be a decent script. I still have to figure out a funny story for page two.

(page three)
Jimmy stands up and leads Martin through the restaurant, towards the kitchen.

JIMMY
What is it?

MARTIN
We found Dino.

JIMMY
Good. Where was he?

MARTIN
He was staying with a girlfriend.

INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy and Martin continue the conversation into the kitchen.

JIMMY
How did you find his girlfriend’s location?

MARTIN
His wife told us.

The sounds of banging pots and pans, food sizzling and cooks shouting goes unnoticed by Jimmy and Martin as they make their way through it to a pair of steps that lead into the basement.

INT. BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS

The basement is dark and dingy with cheap wood shelves built to store the restaurant’s supplies. There are small puddles of water in the basement.

Jimmy and Martin descend the steps into the basement.

They walk through the basement to a door located in the back.

Martin knocks.
PERRY, 50s, a very large man, opens a sliver and peers out. He see’s that it’s Martin and he opens the door.

Page two

I started to write a blog entry today about what I’m working with as far as schematics, locations and stuff like that, but I ran out of juice. It’ll have to come later. In the meantime, I started working on page two. You’ll notice that I’ve removed the SUPERED: TWO WEEKS AGO and decided to go right into the next scene chronologically. I might set up Sam’s character later, but I’m starting to think it’s irrelevant and would slow down the story. All you really need to know is that he’s widowed and he’s struggling with it making poor choices. I don’t think we’ll need a back story to show that.

This scene is to set up the boss, Jimmy and his cronies, Perry and Martin. Perry and Martin are based on real people that I’ve worked with and are such cool people that I came up with this idea around them. Of course, all is fictional and they aren’t involved in the mob nor do they do anything that I’ll write them doing. I hope. My plan is to actually cast Perry in the role as he’s got an Andre the Giant aura about him. Sort of a gentle giant that you wouldn’t want to piss off. Plus, his accent is so thick you can’t understand a word he’s saying. It would be the Brad Pitt character in Snatch, but no acting.

Oh yeah, the blah, blah, blah below will be replaced by a funny story later (hopefully tomorrow). I just couldn’t think of anything funny tonight.

VOICE
If this could wait, I wouldn’t be fucking calling. I want my money.

SAM
Okay, okay. I’ll bring it by tomorrow.

FADE TO BLACK

INSERT TITLE CARD: THE CALL

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

JIMMY, 50s, head of the Greek mafia and owner of the restaurant, is sitting at a large table with FRIEND 1, FRIEND 2 and WOMAN FRIEND engaged in conversation.

FRIEND 1
Blah, blah, blah, blah…

Everyone laughs.

JIMMY
So what did you do?

FRIEND 1
What could I do? I blah, blah, blah blah…

Everyone bursts into laughter again.

MARTIN, 40s, a well dressed handsome man, walk from the kitchen and approaches the table.

MARTIN
Hey boss. We’ve got a problem in the kitchen.

JIMMY
Excuse me. Don’t finish the story, I want to hear the rest when I get back.

FRIEND 1
Will do, Jimmy.

Page one

After some thought, I’ve decided to go with option one: the widower that gets in deep with the mob. I really want to do option two, but I think it would be a much more difficult script to write. I think I’d have to deal with too much internal conflict and I don’t think I have the skills for that yet. And I chose option one over three because I think I’d rather watch Goodfellas more than I would The Accused.

I’ve actually worked on this script a lot over the years and I had some good notes from a writing group I was in a couple of years ago, but I’m no where finished and I’ve struggled with the plot points and the action. I have some good characters and I have a twist at the end, but I want there to be a reason to watch it to the end. And the twist is a bit forced. I’d like to write a movie that doesn’t need the ending I have in mind, but I can use if I feel it would benefit from it.

Here is the first scene. It takes place in our hero’s home in the middle of the night. He gets woken up by a phone call from the man he thinks is who he owes the money to. Inevitably, the man on the phone isn’t who he says and steals the money creating a whodunit scenario complete with several suspicious characters all capable of stealing the money.

INT. BEDROOM

Against a black screen a telephone rings.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

There’s the rustling sound of sheets as our protagonist, SAM GOLDSTEIN, goes to answer the phone.

Ring.

SAM
Hello?

VOICE
Where the fuck is my money?

SAM
What?

VOICE
You fucking heard me. Where the fuck is my money?

There’s more rustling as Sam searches for the light switch on the lamp.
The light reveals a modest bedroom with a large bed and furnishings. Sam is alone.

SAM
What time is it?

Sam looks at the clock on the nightstand: 3:14.

VOICE
It’s time for you to pay my money. Why haven’t you paid yet?

SAM
It’s three o’clock in the morning. Can’t this wait?

VOICE
If this could wait, I wouldn’t be fucking calling. I want my money.

SAM
Okay, okay. I’ll bring it by tomorrow.

FADE TO BLACK
INSERT TITLE CARD: THE CALL
SUPERED: SEVERAL WEEKS EARLIER

New Year’s resolution

I’ll admit it — I’m lazy. I have a great life and am pretty content with everything the way it is, so my ambition and drive isn’t what it should be. I don’t worry about kids (don’t have ’em), mortgage (girlfriend pays it), food (it’s fairly cheap) or vehicle (paid off). About the only thing I worry about lately is the health and happiness of my parents and my girlfriend’s parents. It’s time to make a change.

This year, I have only one goal: to have a script ready to shoot in 2013. I have several things I’d like to achieve on my bucket list and directing a feature length film is the number one thing on it. So this year I’m going to attack it with vigor. And I’m going to use this blog to help me.

Every day, I’m going to share with the readers a page of the script with my notes and insights. I’d love to get responses, comments and ideas on how to make it better. Think of it as one big world wide writing group.

Basically, the blog idea is to keep me from being lazy. I figure if I have to have something to share with people then I better have something to share. I’m only lazy on a personal level. When it comes to work, I work. I mean, when I had a job, I busted my ass and I don’t think there’s anyone that would say differently. Except maybe that one job at Fuddruckers. Sorry, Mary. So I think this plan will take me out of my comfort level and force me to be creative, and more importantly, just work.

I still haven’t decided which script to write yet, so that will be my objective for tomorrow. I do know that I’ll be working with a micro budget. I don’t have financing yet, but I believe I can raise at least $50,000, if not more. So I’d like to keep that number in mind when writing (that means no car crashes). And since it’s a low number, I’d like to have as few characters as possible. In low budget films, acting is usually the worst thing in them, and I’d like that to be a strength in mine. So the less actors, the better odds.

Here are some of my ideas (I may select based on feedback of what people would like to watch):

1) A widower’s life begins to spiral out of control when he begins to gamble away his life savings and gets in deep with the mob.

2) Burdened by debt, a young man begins to lose his sanity as his life gets more and more difficult every day.

3) After he discovers his girlfriend has been raped, a student surgeon exacts revenge.

2011’s 48 Hour Film Festival

I took a step back this year from directing and joined my friend Stephen van Vuuren’s team as director of photographer. After last year’s debacle, in which I felt I failed miserably as director, I wanted an opportunity to watch a pro go to work and see how he handled the role and pressure that comes from helming a 48 Hour team. Needless to say, I learned a lot. I may go back to directing next year, but I had so much fun this year, I’m hoping that we’re able to keep the same team next year. This year was a blast and I’m very happy with our final product.

The 48 Hour Film Festival is an annual event that is held all over the States and in several other places around the world. Each year, teams are randomly assigned a genre and then a character, prop and line of dialogue is drawn in which every team has to incorporate into their film. The film has to be made in 48 hours including editing, sound, score, etc., no exceptions. This year, we drew film de femme, Don or Donna Hastert who has to be a plumber, crayons, and “where did you go”.

After the drawing on Friday we sat around discussing what our story was going to be. We had several good ideas from an exploitation film to a woman’s version of Starsky and Hutch. Having to take into consideration our cast and the abilities of our crew, the writer’s went off to write what we thought was a good idea at the time: a modern version of Straw Dogs.

After about an hour or so, the writers came back and said they had something completely different in mind and after reading the script, I’ll admit, I wasn’t completely on board. The writers wrote the entire piece from one specific moment of revelation. After reading the script, I felt that it was gimmicky and that it exploits people’s religious beliefs. I also didn’t think we had enough material after reading the three page script as the 48 hour films have to be between four and seven minutes. I didn’t think this was going to work. The director assured me that the time wasn’t an issue and that he understood my misgivings, but I would get it at the end. Having worked with Stephen many times and have enjoyed almost everything he has ever produced, I had complete faith that he was right and I was wrong.

I could give the details about how we filmed it, but there really isn’t much to say. This was the smoothest shoot I’ve been a part of since we made Invaders from Uranus several years ago. The only challenge of the night was finding locations. We wanted to shoot it at one place, but having specific needs, we weren’t able to find the perfect home. So, eventually, we filmed in two different ones and used stock images to help sell our story. If you watch closely, you’ll see there’s actually five different homes for our lead character.

I just want to mention again how much I enjoyed this year and that I learned a lot about running a 48 hour team. Usually, in these types of community events, you often work with “first timers” as this is a great opportunity for people to experience making a film for the first time with relatively little investment. And while there is a lot of pleasure in watching someone experience the joys and hardships of film making for the first time, it does make it more challenging to have a smooth operation. Fortunately, this year, our entire cast and crew consisted of pros and I think it shows in our film. Enjoy:

Here’s our entry in this year’s 48 Hour Film Project:

Genre: Film de Femme
Character: Don or Donna Hastert, Plumber
Prop: crayons
Line of Dialogue: “Where did you go?”

Jaye Pierce – Eve
Kirby Wahl – Don Hastert

production sound – Anna McDonald
makeup and art direction – Lindsay Golden
gaffer and grip – Mickey Flyn
script supervisor – Shelia Duell and Mickey Flynn
“Ave Maria” by jacob arcadelt – performed by Sheila Duell
music arranged by – Marie van Vuuren and Stephen van Vuuren
director of photography and visual effects – Ioannis Batsios
written by Lisa LopeZ and Stephen van Vuuren
produced by Marie van Vuuren
directed and edited by Stephen van Vuuren