Pages 54-58.

This is the scene I had previously posted. I believe I’ve tightened it up. It was the only scene that didn’t work well after I read the script.

Now I have to focus on getting Sam to the bludgeoning death scene that I love so much in the first draft. He seems resigned and fairly composed in this scene for someone going through so much. I want to shake his cage in the next few scenes where murder suddenly seems possible.

(Pages 54-58)
INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Darkness.

The phone rings.

Sam rustling in the sheets.

SAM
(pissed)
God damn it!
(picks up the phone)
I told you to stop fucking calling me!

MARTIN
How about we just stop by instead.

Martin is in the room.

Sam turns on the light.

Perry and Martin are standing over him. Martin has his cell phone opened. He was the one making the call.

SAM
What the fuck are you doing here? Get out of my house! I fucking told you I dropped off the money already. If you think you’re getting anoth….

Martin duct-tapes his mouth shut. Perry follows right behind with a bag over the head.

CUT TO:

INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – EARLY MORNING

Jimmy removes the bag from Sam’s head.

Sam is strapped to a chair still wearing his white t-shirt and undies.

Jimmy conspicuously grabs the letter opener and hides it from Sam’s sight. He has a seat across from Sam.

Perry and Martin are standing behind Sam.

Jimmy reaches over and rips the duct-tape off.

SAM
Are you guys having fun?

JIMMY
Fun? No, I’m not having fun. You?

SAM
Me? A sixty year old man getting kidnapped, gagged, blind-folded and dragged somewhere in the middle of the night….yeah, I’m having a blast. What do you have planned for the encore.

JIMMY
That all depends. Wher…

SAM
(interrupting)
Where’s your money? Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before. This is the modus operandi now? Steal money from old people. I’m not one of your two-bit junkies angling for a fix. I’m not going to play ball with you.

Jimmy inhales deeply and rubs his temples. His body language suggests he’s getting upset.

JIMMY
Okay, let’s start from the top, because I’m a little confused.

SAM
(defiant)
Really? We’re going to continue to play.

JIMMY
Humor me.

SAM
Two nights ago, you called me telling me you wanted me to drop the money off at a different location because you had too much heat here. I did and now we’re here.

JIMMY
Drop it off where?

SAM
Under a bridge on Conant, just south of Jefferson.

JIMMY
How do you know it was me?

SAM
I assumed. It sounded like you. Or Martin back there. I’m not sure. It was late and I wasn’t fully awake. Besides, who else would know I owe you money?

Jimmy sits there a beat.

JIMMY
Perry, find the location.

PERRY
Okay.

Perry exits.

JIMMY
Well, it wasn’t me.

SAM
Then Martin.

Martin shakes his head no.

JIMMY
It wasn’t any of my people.

SAM
That’s impossible.

JIMMY
Anyways, why the fuck would you drop off that kind of money in the middle of nowhere? Are you fucking stupid.

SAM
It’s not like I do this shit for a living. It sounded legitimate.

JIMMY
Really? Jesus Christ.
(to Martin)
Give him his clothes. Let him go.
(back to Sam)
You have two days to get my money. Next time we come, we won’t be so nice.

Jimmy angrily slams the letter opener back into the holder on the desk and walks behind the desk.

SAM
Well, you might as well kill me now, because I’m not going to pay you twice.

Jimmy jumps across his desk and onto Sam knocking him to the ground. Jimmy stands over him and starts pummeling him with punches. When he’s done, Sam is bloodied and bruised to pulp.

JIMMY
(wiping his bloody hands clean)
You’re going to pay me. You got that motherfucker? I don’t like being fucked with. I don’t care if it’s a two-bit hustler or a grandpa surgeon or a fucking cop! No one fucks me over. If you don’t care about your life, then I’ll find someone’s life you do care about. Got it?
(to Martin)
Get him out of here.

CUT TO:

Finally…

…starting to get back into the flow. I read my script this weekend and caught a ton of typos and mental mistakes. I’m not happy with the very last scene so I deleted it and am going to rewrite it. I’ve also added a little foreshadowing to make the ending a little easier to swallow.

Below is the addition to the scene where Sam drops off the money. As he pulls into the main street, off of the side street he’s on, he’s going to hit one of the kids on his bike. This happened to me when I was a kid, so I thought it would be fun to add a personal bit into the script. I think viewers will appreciate it at the end.

(Scenes 39 & 40)

Sam climbs up and out of the bridge. Gets in his car and drives away.

INT. SAM’S CAR – CONTINUOUS

Sam pulls to the end of the street. He looks left to see if any cars are coming and pulls out into traffic. The car hits something. He looks to the right and doesn’t see anything.

EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS

Sam exits the car and goes to the front of the car. There’s a KID, 14, on a bike pinned under the car. The front tire has trapped the bike that has trapped the kid.

SAM
Shit, kid, you okay?

KID
I can’t get up.

SAM
I’ll back up.

Sam gets into the car and backs up. The kid quickly hops up and peels away.

Sam opens the door and shouts…

SAM
Hey! You okay?

The kid shouts behind him as he races along…

KID
Watch where you’re going, asshole.

CUT TO:

Good and bad…

The good news is that I completed my screenplay assignment (I’d say what it was, but I’m not sure my friend was allowed to give me the script….it hasn’t been produced yet) and watched both Avengers and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (both good) (I also threw in The Descendants…that was a GREAT movie) but I still haven’t gotten to my script yet. I’ve just been in a funk lately and my brain has no interest in being creative in that way. I’m sure I’ll get back to it soon and get the second draft done.

This week, for 1, 2, 7, 14, I plan on reading my own script. Yes, I said it. I’ve been avoiding it like the plague. I’m hyper-critical of my own work as I don’t like anything I’ve ever done. And the two movies I plan to watch are On The Ice (a movie I funded through Kickstarter) and the documentary Gasland. One of these days, I’d like to make a documentary, but I want the passion to be so great that I HAVE to make it. I’ve yet to get that feeling.

Getting back into the flow.

I’ve been away and unproductive due to a death in the family and my own father battling kidney failure. My mother was kind enough to move back into dad’s house to take care of him. I had to drive from my home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina to pick her up in Satanta, Kansas then drive her to Flint, Michigan. It’s been an exhausting month. I can’t wait to get my life back to normal.

While I was there, I took some pictures and posted it to my new photography website. I’ll be posting more photos there in a couple of days.

I sat down to start working on the script today and was surprised that I had no idea where I was with it and what was going on. I’m going to have to go back over my notes and re-read it from the beginning.

Meanwhile, I’m going to start doing Go Into The Story’s 1, 2, 7, 14 formula for increasing one’s skills at screenwriting.

    My plans for this week are:
  • 1: I’m going to read a script, that was written by a friend of a friend, that has won a couple of screenwriting awards.
  • 2: The movies I’m going to watch are Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and The Avengers. Both look pretty good to me.
  • 14: And while driving through dust-bowl town after dust-bowl town, I came up with a great idea for a comedy drama script that I can’t wait to write. That will be what my fourteen hours of prep work will be towards.
  • Page 54.

    Sam wants forgiveness.

    Jimmy wants his money.

    Saul wants to stay relevant.

    Dino wants his girlfriend.

    Perry wants his childhood back.

    What does Martin want? I still haven’t figured that one out.

    (page 54)
    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Darkness.

    The phone rings.

    Sam rustling in the sheets.

    SAM
    (pissed)
    God damn it!

    Sam turns on the light.

    Perry and Martin are standing over him. Martin has his cell phone opened. He was the one making the call.

    SAM
    What the fuck are you doing here?

    MARTIN
    Let’s go. Jimmy wants to talk to you.

    SAM
    I’m not going anywhere. Get the fuck out of here.

    MARTIN
    Let’s go. Get on some clothes.

    Sam grabs the phone. Martin grabs it from him and rips it out of the wall.

    SAM
    Hey!

    MARTIN
    LET’S GO!

    Martin opens up his dresser drawer and starts throwing clothes at him.

    Sam grabs the lamp and tries to hit Perry with it. It’s a feeble attempt and Perry easily blocks it. Perry then grabs Sam and pins him to the bed.

    MARTIN
    Okay, no more nice guys.

    Martin takes out zip ties and ties Sam’s hands up while Perry holds him.

    SAM
    You guys are through. Breaking and entering, assault, kidnapping.

    MARTIN
    Shut up.

    Martin grabs one of the socks he threw at Sam and shoves it into Sam’s mouth.

    MARTIN
    (to Perry)
    Let’s go.

    Perry picks up Sam and throws him over his shoulder.

    CUT TO:

    Pages 46-53.

    I’ve recently started reading full scripts. It sounds stupid, but I never really did that before. Sure, I have read many screenwriting magazines with full breakdowns, etc., but the only screenplays I’ve ever read were Pulp Fiction and The Matrix. So based on GITS recommendations to improve my writing ability, I’ve started their 1, 2, 7, 14 format to read 1 script a week, watch 2 movies a week, write 7 pages a week and work 14 hours on prep work for the next script. And just in the past week, I feel like it’s making a huge difference. I think my pages are more fluid and read much better.

    On to the script:

    I thought Martin calling Jimmy in the last scene broke the tension, so I decided to move it into Jimmy’s scene below.

    (page 46-53)
    INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

    Empty bottle of champagne. The steady creaking of a bed with people having sex on it. Two half-filled champagne flutes. Men’s black dress socks on the chair. Women’s panties on the floor.

    MARY
    Don’t stop, don’t stop. Oh yeah.

    Saul is having sex, missionary style with MARY SCHUMER, 60, and holding up very well for her age. Mary is naked. Saul still has his white t-shirt on. Mary’s hands are on Saul’s ass pulling him in and out.

    SAUL
    (cumming)
    Aaaaah!

    Saul collapses on Mary. Stays there for a minute, kisses her and rolls off.

    MARY
    (turning towards Saul)
    That was wonderful.

    SAUL
    Oh yeah? I’m glad you’re happy.

    MARY
    You’re not?

    SAUL
    I came didn’t I? That means I’m happy.

    Mary laughs.

    Saul checks his watch. Sits up on the side of the bed.

    SAUL
    I gotta go.

    MARY
    Oh c’mon. Don’t leave already.

    SAUL
    (leaning over and kissing her)
    Sorry, babe. I gotta get home.

    MARY
    Why don’t you just leave her?

    Saul stands up and begins getting dressed, limping around while he does. We see the huge bruises on his legs where the car bumper hit him.

    SAUL
    Honey, you don’t leave someone you’ve been with for fifty years. Don’t confuse what we have here as a relationship. I mean, I love it and I think you’re terrific, but I’m not leaving my wife.

    MARY
    Hand me my purse.

    SAUL
    (looking around)
    You’re free to look for something else. I don’t care if you move on.
    (finding her purse, handing it to her)
    In fact, I hope you do. You’re a wonderful woman, you deserve to be with someone that’s going to make you happy.
    (beat)
    And if they don’t, they’ll answer to me.

    Mary pulls a joint out of her purse then a lighter.

    MARY
    (lighting the joint)

    Saul, I can’t find men twenty years younger than you with your energy.

    Mary takes a long toke of the joint.

    SAUL
    What can I say? I’m one of a kind.

    Mary offers the joint to Saul.

    SAUL
    I can’t. I don’t want to smell like pot when I get home.

    MARY
    Oh? So you’d rather smell like sex?

    SAUL
    (sarcastic)
    Haha.

    Saul is dressed now. He pulls out the ring box to make sure he still has it.

    SAUL
    Okay, babe. Gotta go.

    Saul goes over and kisses Mary passionately.

    MARY
    Call me.

    SAUL
    Sure thing.

    Saul limps off with cane in hand.

    CUT TO:

    INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

    Spacious house. Reeks of wealth. A large top-of-the-line kitchen with granite counters, dual ovens, etc.

    ELIZABETH DIMITRIOS, 42, striking beauty, has a game hen roasting in the oven. She checks it. Jimmy embraces her from behind.

    ELIZABETH
    Oh my.

    She turns and kisses him.

    JIMMY
    Tommy’s at Damon’s. Ashley’s about to go on a date…

    ELIZABETH
    (interrupting)
    Her first date.

    JIMMY
    Her FIRST date. That just leaves you and me and a big house with lots of places to do it.

    ELIZABETH
    (laughing)
    Well, just keep it in your pants until she leaves.

    JIMMY
    Her date better get here soon, or I’m not going to make it.

    She laughs. Jimmy pulls her in for a long kiss.

    The doorbell rings, breaking the mood.

    JIMMY
    Speak of the devil. I’ll get it.

    ELIZABETH
    I’ll open us a bottle of wine.

    INT. JIMMY’S FOYER – CONTINUOUS

    Jimmy opens the door to TRAVIS JACKSON, 18, a tall, young, well-dressed black kid.

    JIMMY
    Hello?

    TRAVIS
    Hi, I’m Travis. I’m here to pick up Ashley.

    BEAT

    JIMMY
    Come in.

    Travis enters.

    JIMMY
    (pointing)
    Have a seat in the living room. I’ll get her.

    TRAVIS
    Thank you.

    Travis walks into the living room while Jimmy turns and goes into the kitchen.

    INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    Jimmy marches into the kitchen to speak to Elizabeth. There is a kitchen island between them.

    JIMMY
    (quietly)
    You never told me he was a black kid.

    ELIZABETH
    (pouring a glass of wine)
    So?

    JIMMY
    (quietly)
    So!? So, you should’ve told me.

    ELIZABETH
    What difference does it make?

    JIMMY
    It’s just…I don’t – I should’ve been told.

    ELIZABETH
    Jimmy, we live in the twenty-first century. Our kids go to school with black kids, Chinese kids, Mexicans, everything. It’s not like when we were kids. They’re going to meet and like kids of other races and you know what?

    JIMMY
    What?

    ELIZABETH
    It’s a good thing. Travis is Mr. Basketball. All-State. He’s going to MSU next year with a full ride. And he’s valedictorian. Don’t judge him by his color.

    Jimmy, speechless, turns and exits.

    INT. JIMMY’S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Jimmy enters. Travis is sitting quietly.

    JIMMY
    So, I hear you’re good at basketball?

    TRAVIS
    Yes, sir, the best in the state.

    JIMMY
    I like the confidence. So you’re going to play for Izzo?

    TRAVIS
    Yes, sir.

    JIMMY
    That’s great. I like it when our kids stay and go to local schools. It kills me when they go to Ohio State.

    Jimmy grabs a walnut-shell from a bowl on the small table next to him.

    TRAVIS
    My dad is the same way. He wouldn’t even let me go look at their campus.

    JIMMY
    Smart man. I can’t wait to meet him.
    (picks up bowl, offering)
    Walnut?

    TRAVIS
    Sure.

    He leans over and grabs a walnut.

    Jimmy takes the walnut in one hand and cracks it. He removes the nut and eats it. Travis watches and tries to do the same thing. He puts both hands on it and nothing. He even leans his body into it but he can’t break the shell.

    JIMMY
    Oh. Here.
    (hands him a nutcracker)
    So, where you headed tonight?

    TRAVIS
    We’re going to see a movie.

    Travis uses the nutcracker and opens the shell.

    JIMMY
    (nodding his head)
    That’s good. That’s nice. So, you’re driving.

    TRAVIS
    (eating the nut)
    Yes, sir.

    JIMMY
    You have your license?

    TRAVIS
    Yes, sir.

    JIMMY
    Okay. Well if you do any…

    The phone rings interrupting Jimmy.

    JIMMY
    (to Travis)
    Hold on.
    (answers phone)
    Hello?
    (beat)
    No, I never called him.
    (beat)
    He what?
    (beat — Jimmy’s mood changes mid-conversation — he’s visibly getting pissed)
    That doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what he’s talking about. If that fucker is trying to fuck me over, so help me God. Call, Perry and bring him in. I want to talk to him in person.
    (beat)
    No, no, no, don’t touch him. I want him to be clear when I look him in the eye.

    Jimmy hangs up. His mood instantly changes to what it was before he took the call. A chameleon.

    JIMMY
    Where were we?

    TRAVIS
    Uh…uh…uh..I don’t –

    JIMMY
    (interrupting)
    Oh yeah, if you do anything to hurt my girl, I won’t be happy.

    TRAVIS
    Oh, I won’t.

    JIMMY
    That’s good.
    (picks up the walnut bowl, offering)
    Another walnut?

    TRAVIS
    No, thanks.

    CUT TO:

    Pages 44-46.

    I’ve updated this scene to show Martin with a wad of cash. Just trying to build suspicion.

    (pages 44, 45 & 46)
    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

    Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

    Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

    Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

    PLAYER #1
    Look who it is.

    PLAYER #2
    Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
    (to Pitboss)
    Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

    PLAYER #1
    (to Pitboss)
    Me too!
    (to Player #2)
    Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

    Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

    MARTIN
    Where the fuck is our money?

    SAM (PHONE/OVER)
    What? Who is this?

    Martin moves closer to the cashier as the line in front dwindles.

    MARTIN
    Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

    SAM
    What? Is this a joke?

    MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
    Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

    SAM
    I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

    MARTIN
    What? What time? To Jimmy?

    SAM (PHONE/OVER)
    Yeah to Jimmy.
    (beat)
    Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it where he told me to.

    Martin moves up to the cage and places a large rolled up wad of cash on the counter. The CASHIER looks up.

    MARTIN
    (to the Cashier, whispering so Sam can’t hear)
    Ten grand, please.
    (confused)
    What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    SAM
    I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

    BEAT

    MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
    What kind of shit you trying to pull?

    SAM
    (getting upset)
    Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

    Click.

    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

    Martin, standing with his rows of chips in one hand, looks at his phone in the other. What the fuck?

    He places another call, this time to Jimmy.

    JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
    Yeah?

    MARTIN
    You didn’t get a payment from Sam did you?

    JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
    No.

    MARTIN
    He just told me you called him last night and had him drop it somewhere.

    JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
    No, I never called him. Drop it where?

    MARTIN
    I don’t know, but it sounded like bullshit. I just wanted to check before I did anything.

    JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
    Bring him in.

    MARTIN
    Yes, sir.

    Click.

    Martin stands with his chips in his hands desperately wanting to play poker, but turns back to the Cashier.

    MARTIN
    Cash these back in.

    CUT TO:

    Pages 43-45

    If this seems earlier then the other scenes, that’s because it is. I’ve gone back and fixed to make the times play right. Yes, Sam went to bed with the Sun still out. Old people do that sometimes.

    (pages 43, 44 & 45)
    EXT. LAKESIDE PROPERTY – LATE AFTERNOON

    The sun is beginning to set.

    From the street side, the house doesn’t look like much, but once you walk around the back, it has a gorgeous view of the lake Superior.

    The house has a FOR SALE sign on it. No one is home. Perry walks from the front to the back to take in the view. He pulls a folding lawn chair near the back door and walks it down to the edge of the lake.

    He unfolds it and has a seat digesting the view.

    BEAT

    He makes a phone call.

    PERRY
    (broken English)
    Yes, hello? This is Perry Konstintina. You looking for house for me.
    (beat)
    Good. I want house on 2313 Lakeside.
    (beat)
    No offer. I buy full price.
    (beat)
    That’s okay. I want house. I pay.
    (beat)
    You get paperwork ready soon?
    (beat)
    Good. Thank you.

    CUT TO:

    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

    Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

    Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

    Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

    PLAYER #1
    Look who it is.

    PLAYER #2
    Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
    (to Pitboss)
    Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

    PLAYER #1
    (to Pitboss)
    Me too!
    (to Player #2)
    Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

    Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

    MARTIN
    Where the fuck is our money?

    SAM (PHONE/OVER)
    What? Who is this?

    MARTIN
    Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

    SAM
    What? Is this a joke?

    MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
    Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

    SAM
    I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

    MARTIN
    What? What time? To Jimmy?

    SAM (PHONE/OVER)
    Yeah to Jimmy.
    (beat)
    Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it off where he told me to.

    MARTIN
    (confused)
    What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    SAM
    I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

    BEAT

    MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
    What kind of shit you trying to pull?

    SAM
    (getting upset)
    Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

    Click.

    INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

    Martin looks at his phone. What the fuck?

    CUT TO:

    Pages 40-42.

    (pages 40, 41 & 42)
    EXT. DOWNTOWN DETROIT – AFTERNOON

    Sam is sitting at a park bench, still wearing the dirt stained suit, eating his dinner of coney dog, french fries and a coke.

    The hustle and bustle of the city is all around him. Detroit is hoping today and Sam is sitting still enjoying his dinner.

    Across from him is the Woman, just staring at him. Blood starts to seep through her hospital gown between her breasts. Slowly at first, then a lot. Suddenly her whole front is drenched in blood. Sam ignores her.

    CUT TO:

    INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT

    It’s a Detroit ghetto party store complete with bullet-proof partition separating the ARAB CASHIER from the customers.

    Dino is looking at the myriad selections of alcohol. He’s holding the same suitcase Sam had dropped off earlier. He grabs a forty ounce of Old English 800. He makes his way to the register.

    There’s a CUSTOMER at the register. He grabs his lotto ticket and begins to walk out the door. Dino slides to the register taking his place. He stops and comes back walking through Dino to get back in line.

    CUSTOMER
    (shouting)
    Yo, man, you have me the wrong numbers!

    ARAB CASHIER
    (with an Arabic accent)
    What man?

    CUSTOMER
    (mocking the Arab with deliberate speech)
    You…gave…me…wrong…numbers.

    He pushes the ticket back through the partition.

    CUSTOMER
    Give me the right numbers, man.

    The Arab cashier grabs the lotto slip that the customer filled out and looks at it.

    ARAB CASHIER
    No, man, I give you right numbers. See here.

    He holds up the lotto slip to the customer.

    CUSTOMER
    No, I crossed that number out. It’s supposed to be an X on the seven. I didn’t want…

    DINO
    (interrupting)
    I’ll take your ticket.

    CUSTOMER
    What?

    DINO
    Let me buy the ticket he gave you and just get a new one. It’ll take him forever arguing with you.

    CUSTOMER
    Straight up, man.
    (to Arab cashier)
    Yo, give me my ticket back.

    The Arab passes it through the glass.

    CUSTOMER
    Five bucks.

    Dino hands him the five.

    CUSTOMER
    (to Arab)
    Now run that shit again, but switch the six with seven, like it shows on the ticket.
    (to Dino)
    I always get June and July mixed up.

    Dino smiles.

    CUT TO:

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Sam undresses and throws his suit in the dry clean bag. He strips down to his t-shirt and undies.

    INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam washes his face, brushes his teeth, etc. Each time he pops up from the sink, we expect to see the Woman, but she never appears.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam exits the bathroom and goes to get into bed.

    In the bed, is the Woman. She’s holding the sheets open for Sam to join her. The bed is saturated in blood. Sam climbs in with her. She pulls the sheets over Sam and wraps her arms around him. He closes his eyes.

    CUT TO:

    Pages 37-39.

    I went back to page 35 and fixed the houseboat idea. I had just read an article on Yahoo about houseboats and they looked so cool that I thought that would be good motivation for Perry, but then I realized you can’t have houseboats year round on the Detroit river. It freezes. So I scraped it for an aft cabin and he’s looking for a piece of property so he can dock it close by.

    I think the following two scenes perfectly paint Saul as someone who is capable of stealing Jimmy/Saul’s money. It’s all implied of course leaving many suspicious characters.

    (pages 37, 38 & 39)
    INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON

    Jimmy is sitting at his desk counting payroll.

    Martin and Perry enter Jimmy’s office.

    MARTIN
    Hey boss.

    Jimmy looks up.

    JIMMY
    Is it that time of the month already?

    MARTIN
    Yes, sir.

    Jimmy turns and opens the safe. He pulls out a rolled stack of hundred-dollar bills.

    He turns and opens the stack up and begins counting. He quickly peels off some and stops and picks one up. He rubs it. He puts it aside and takes out a marker and marks it. The liquid changes colors revealing that it’s fake.

    MARTIN
    What’s the problem?

    JIMMY
    A fake one.

    Jimmy continues to go through the stack and pulls out a couple more, setting them aside. He turns and pulls out more stacks from the safe. He repeats the process and pulls out fifteen or so hundred-dollar bills.

    JIMMY
    What the fuck is this?
    (to Martin)
    Feel that.

    He hands the hundred to Martin. Martin rubs it and passes it to Perry. Perry rubs it.

    JIMMY
    Look how many there are and they don’t even feel real. Either we have a cashier that’s purposely letting these fake bills through or…

    MARTIN
    Or what?

    CUT TO:

    INT. JEWELRY STORE – AFTERNOON

    Saul is looking at diamond rings. Big diamond rings.

    SALESMAN is pulling out more cases for him to look at.

    SAUL
    So these are all flawless?

    SALESMAN
    Yes, these are the best of the best. Perfect clarity, flawless. Look at one of these compared to this.

    The Salesman pulls out a ring from another case and holds it up to one that Saul is looking at. Separately, they both look clear and white. Together, the cheap one looks blue.

    SALESMAN
    You see that? The J color looks like it’s blue when set next to a colorless one.

    SAUL
    Yeah. It’s perfect. So you think this will put me back in her good graces?

    SALESMAN
    It worked for Kobe Bryant. And he raped a girl.

    The Salesman smiles his own joke.

    SAUL
    I’ll take this one.

    Saul picks out a huge gaudy ring. It’s not subtle.

    SALESMAN
    Excellent choice, sir. She will be very happy. It’s twenty-five thousand dollars plus tax. How do you want to pay for it?

    SAUL
    Cash.

    SALESMAN
    Cash?

    Saul pulls several stacks of hundreds out of his suitcoat’s pocket.

    SAUL
    Cash.

    CUT TO: