I decided to swap in a scene to cover a flaw I thought of so the pages are all messed up now. When I hit the thirty page mark, I’ll post them as Act I.
I was thinking about the course of action and I realized that in my first script, Dino doesn’t go to check if Sherry is okay, even though he knows Jimmy is going after her. I realized this is either a flaw in the script or an element to his character. Either I have to show him going to check on her or show him make the decision that his wife was more important; either way, it has to be shown not implied. So I’m going to have him check on Sherry, but he’s too late as she’s already been kidnapped by Martin.
So I slid in the below scene to occur after Sam receives the call and before he wakes up.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY
Martin walks down the hall of an apartment complex.
Martin arrives at an apartment and rings the doorbell.
SHERRY FOGLE, 20s, very attractive female, opens the door as far as the chain lock lets her. She peeks from behind the door.
What the hell do you want?
Ah, good. You do remember me. Dino wanted me to pick you up.
You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you.
Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Dino’s fine.
(studies him. Cautious)
Let me get my things.
Sherry closes the door. Martin puts his ear to the door to eavesdrop.
INT. SHERRY’S APARTMENT – CONTINOUS
Sherry picks up the phone and dials 911. She walks into the kitchen and takes out a chef’s knife from a butcher’s block.
Nine-one-one, what’s the emergency?
Yeah, hi police? I have an intruder at my apartment.
Is he in the apartment?
No, not yet.
Which apartment are you calling from?
East Jefferson Apartments, two-two-seven.
Martin kicks the door in with one swift kick.
Oh, God, he just kicked the door in! Please hurry!
Sherry drops the phone.
Stay away from me! I’ll cut you. I don’t care.
Martin continues to casually walk towards her.
Why do you have to make this more difficult than it needs to be? We have no interest in hurting you. We’re only protecting our investment.
Sherry takes the knife and quickly lunges at Martin. Martin swiftly grabs the knife hand, twists her arm behind her and forces her to drop the knife. He then puts her into a headlock until she passes out.
Martin slings Sherry over his shoulder and walks out of the apartment.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Martin whistles as he carries Sherry down the hallway and to the elevator. He pushes the down button. There is no one around. The elevator door opens and he enters.
INT. ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS
Martin whistles while the elevator descends from the twenty-second floor.
INT. APARTMENT FOYER – CONTINUOUS
Two POLICE OFFICERS enter one of the elevators just as the other elevator opens up for Martin and Sherry. The Officers never see him as he walks out of the apartment complex whistling.