I added a little more to this scene. I thought I’d introduce Sam’s dead wife quickly into the movie and explain why she’s there.
(page 2 & 3)
Carolyn gets up and puts her head near his coffee mug that still in his hands. He pulls it away from her.
I can smell it from here. You’re drinking whiskey at nine in the morning?
It’s none of your fucking business.
I’ve heard rumors that you’re drinking on the job, but I couldn’t believe them. This is disappointing.
Carolyn turns and walks towards the exit.
Pack your things and be out of here today, please. I’ll send human resources later to take care of your severance package. You’ll have paperwork to sign. I suggest you do it.
Carolyn opens the door and just as she’s about to leave, she turns and says..
Claire’s been dead for over two years. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it.
Sam rubs his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. He closes his eyes and takes a drink.
She’s right, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Sam pops up in his chair. His dead wife, CLAIRE WEINSTEIN, 55, is sitting across from him.
That would be easier if you weren’t haunting me.
I wouldn’t be haunting you if you didn’t have such a guilty conscience. Only one case of malpractice? When are you going to tell her about the others.
Am I in hell, Claire? It that what this is? Am I dead and you alive?
Don’t get all metaphysical on me. You know exactly what this is. You’ve done a bad, horrible thing and I’m your guilty conscience until you confess.
It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve just been fired.
Sam opens up his drawer and grabs the flask. He looks up and Claire’s gone.
One thought on “Revised page two and page three.”
I love the direction with Sam’s character, Carolyn and Claire as well (except change those names to be different). But in this pass or the next, trying much less exposition dialog. E.G. In the scene before, Carolyn’s line can be “it’s been two years”. And leave it that – that’s makes us question – what has been two years? Then is this seen. Claire appears, just holding the scalpel, saying nothing. Keep giving us just enough to keep ask questions but not enough that the tension goes down.