Pages sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-one and seventy-two.

I’m not so sure about this scene. I don’t think I need to bring Alex to Sophia. This will probably all be ripped out. I was having a difficult time writing it, but I didn’t want it to keep me from progressing , so I just put it on paper. The only thing I like about it is that it’s the first time we see Perry as a violent person and I want Alex to be even more despicable than we think he is already so the audience is rooting for the violence. But I think I can do it better than I have now.

(pages 69, 70, 71 & 72)

Perry leads Alex into the room.

Sophia is asleep in the hospital bed.

Perry walks over to her and kisses her on the forehead waking her up.


Hey. Is this him?

Sophia looks over and sees Alex. She stirs in her bed.

Yeah, it’s him. Get him out of here.

Okay. Go back to sleep. Don’t worry, you’ll never have to see him again.
(to Alex)
Let’s go.

Perry grabs Alex by the arm and forcefully pushes him out of the room.


Perry is pushing Alex through the hospital.

What are you going to do to me?

I don’t know yet. Something awful.

Look man, she’s a prostitute. She’s like the lowest form of humanity.

Oh yeah? You’re the morality expert?

They have no souls. They’re incapable of love or feelings. They just use people for money. Fucking whores.

Perry continues to push Alex out the door of the hospital.


Perry and Alex are walking towards a security station. Inside is a SECURITY GUARD.

Keep talking. You’re making my decision easier. I was just going to cut your nuts off, but I don’t think you deserve to live.

Alex thrusts himself into Perry to knock Perry off-balance. Then Alex rips through Perry’s grip and runs to the security station.

Help! Help! This guy’s got a gun! He says he’s going to kill me!

Perry walks up to the security station with both hands held up showing he means no harm.

The Security Guard pulls out his taser.

Hold it right there!

I’m a police officer. I’m going to pull out my badge, so don’t do anything stupid.

He’s not a cop. He’s lying! He’s going to pull out a gun.

I’m going real slow so don’t panic.

Perry slowly pulls out his wallet out of his back pocket. He flips it open and shows the Security Guard a badge.

The Security Guard squints to see it and then holsters his taser.

I’m sorry, Officer. My mistake.

Perry walks over and grabs Alex by the arm.

No worries. Desperate people will do desperate things. Let’s go asshole.

Perry pushes him towards the parking lot.

What the fuck? You’re actually a cop? Why don’t you just arrest me?

It’s really hard for me to hate someone. I understand that life is difficult and different experiences affect people differently than others and it makes us all unique with different opinions for viewpoints. I genuinely hate you.

Perry and Alex arrive at the car.

Put your hands on the hood.

What? You’re going to pat me down?

Just shut up and do it.

Alex puts his hands on the hood.

Perry looks around to see if there’s anyone around. There isn’t.

Perry puts his hands on Alex’s shoulders and starts patting him.

Spread your legs.

Alex spreads his legs.

Perry reaches down and grabs Alex’s crotch through his pants and violently squeezes them as hard as he can.


Alex is in so much pain he’s barely able to emit a sound. He collapses to the ground. Perry still hasn’t let go.

Say goodbye to your power, asshole.

(barely audible)

Alex sounds more like a mouse than a human. He has tears streaming down his face and saliva running out of his mouth. His face is beat red. Perry still hasn’t let go.

Alex passes out.

Alex? Alex?

Perry releases his grip and takes Alex’s body and places it under the car. He wraps Alex’s legs around the tire so that his privates are directly under the tire. He moves the head to the side of the car.

Perry gets in the car and reverses over Alex’s nuts. The car drives like it went over a speed bump.

Perry pops open the trunk.

Perry gets out of the car and picks up Alex’s limp body and throws it into the trunk. He closes it.

Perry gets back into the car and drives away.


2 thoughts on “Pages sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-one and seventy-two.

  1. I think it’s courageous of you to share your entire screenplay to the world! When I was a teenager and my first couple years in college, I used to write screenplays all the time (always suspense), but I don’t think I was any good at it LOL. I kept wanting to over-direct which is a big no no.

    Good luck with finishing your screenplay. I’ll have to start reading from the beginning of your blog to get a feel what the movie’s about. I love everything from Blockbuster to Independent films. In fact, most of my weekends are filled with me glued to my couch watching IFC, Sundance channels (thank goodness for DirectTV).

    Keep smiling,

    1. Thanks, Yhosby. I don’t think it’s that courageous of me though. If I want to make it into a film someday, then people are going to see it anyways. At least, this way they get to see the process and watch the transformation. Hopefully, it’ll go from the crap it is now to something halfway decent.

      I was thinking, how great would it be if George Lucas or Marvel Entertainment allowed for one of their scripts to be written this way with fanboy collaboration? Of course, you’d need someone very talented heading the process, but the ability to take and use hundreds of thousands of suggestions until it became a working script and to be able to watch that process? I think that would be very fun and exciting. Imagine if Lucas did it for the prequels? Ugh, they’d be good!

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