Another problem that I’ve noticed is the language of the characters are always the same. It’s an easy mistake to make — I’m the one writing all the characters so they all sound like me. Perry, especially, needs to be reimagined. I see him like the Benecio Del Toro character in The Usual Suspects or Brad Pitt’s character in Snatch. Both characters I love. I think that small thing will go a long way.
INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT
Sam is next in line at the party store. A FEMALE CUSTOMER is ahead of him.
The CASHIER #2, 26, is middle eastern.
The Cashier hands change back to the Female Customer.
Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice night.
The Cashier #2 looks at Sam. Sam is standing with his eyes closed.
Can I help you?
Sam appears to be sleeping.
Sam opens his eyes.
Oh yeah, sorry. I need some liquor. Something cheap.
The Cashier #2 gives him something in a small bottle.
No, no, no. Something bigger. A pint at least.
The Cashier #2 grabs a pint of vodka.
It doesn’t get cheaper than this.
Sam gives him the cash and they complete their transaction. Sam stumbles out of the party store and the Cashier #2 watches him as he goes.
Cashier #2 shakes his head in disbelief. Another CUSTOMER is at the counter.
Some people don’t know when to say when.