Page 54.

Sam wants forgiveness.

Jimmy wants his money.

Saul wants to stay relevant.

Dino wants his girlfriend.

Perry wants his childhood back.

What does Martin want? I still haven’t figured that one out.

(page 54)
INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Darkness.

The phone rings.

Sam rustling in the sheets.

SAM
(pissed)
God damn it!

Sam turns on the light.

Perry and Martin are standing over him. Martin has his cell phone opened. He was the one making the call.

SAM
What the fuck are you doing here?

MARTIN
Let’s go. Jimmy wants to talk to you.

SAM
I’m not going anywhere. Get the fuck out of here.

MARTIN
Let’s go. Get on some clothes.

Sam grabs the phone. Martin grabs it from him and rips it out of the wall.

SAM
Hey!

MARTIN
LET’S GO!

Martin opens up his dresser drawer and starts throwing clothes at him.

Sam grabs the lamp and tries to hit Perry with it. It’s a feeble attempt and Perry easily blocks it. Perry then grabs Sam and pins him to the bed.

MARTIN
Okay, no more nice guys.

Martin takes out zip ties and ties Sam’s hands up while Perry holds him.

SAM
You guys are through. Breaking and entering, assault, kidnapping.

MARTIN
Shut up.

Martin grabs one of the socks he threw at Sam and shoves it into Sam’s mouth.

MARTIN
(to Perry)
Let’s go.

Perry picks up Sam and throws him over his shoulder.

CUT TO:

Pages 46-53.

I’ve recently started reading full scripts. It sounds stupid, but I never really did that before. Sure, I have read many screenwriting magazines with full breakdowns, etc., but the only screenplays I’ve ever read were Pulp Fiction and The Matrix. So based on GITS recommendations to improve my writing ability, I’ve started their 1, 2, 7, 14 format to read 1 script a week, watch 2 movies a week, write 7 pages a week and work 14 hours on prep work for the next script. And just in the past week, I feel like it’s making a huge difference. I think my pages are more fluid and read much better.

On to the script:

I thought Martin calling Jimmy in the last scene broke the tension, so I decided to move it into Jimmy’s scene below.

(page 46-53)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Empty bottle of champagne. The steady creaking of a bed with people having sex on it. Two half-filled champagne flutes. Men’s black dress socks on the chair. Women’s panties on the floor.

MARY
Don’t stop, don’t stop. Oh yeah.

Saul is having sex, missionary style with MARY SCHUMER, 60, and holding up very well for her age. Mary is naked. Saul still has his white t-shirt on. Mary’s hands are on Saul’s ass pulling him in and out.

SAUL
(cumming)
Aaaaah!

Saul collapses on Mary. Stays there for a minute, kisses her and rolls off.

MARY
(turning towards Saul)
That was wonderful.

SAUL
Oh yeah? I’m glad you’re happy.

MARY
You’re not?

SAUL
I came didn’t I? That means I’m happy.

Mary laughs.

Saul checks his watch. Sits up on the side of the bed.

SAUL
I gotta go.

MARY
Oh c’mon. Don’t leave already.

SAUL
(leaning over and kissing her)
Sorry, babe. I gotta get home.

MARY
Why don’t you just leave her?

Saul stands up and begins getting dressed, limping around while he does. We see the huge bruises on his legs where the car bumper hit him.

SAUL
Honey, you don’t leave someone you’ve been with for fifty years. Don’t confuse what we have here as a relationship. I mean, I love it and I think you’re terrific, but I’m not leaving my wife.

MARY
Hand me my purse.

SAUL
(looking around)
You’re free to look for something else. I don’t care if you move on.
(finding her purse, handing it to her)
In fact, I hope you do. You’re a wonderful woman, you deserve to be with someone that’s going to make you happy.
(beat)
And if they don’t, they’ll answer to me.

Mary pulls a joint out of her purse then a lighter.

MARY
(lighting the joint)

Saul, I can’t find men twenty years younger than you with your energy.

Mary takes a long toke of the joint.

SAUL
What can I say? I’m one of a kind.

Mary offers the joint to Saul.

SAUL
I can’t. I don’t want to smell like pot when I get home.

MARY
Oh? So you’d rather smell like sex?

SAUL
(sarcastic)
Haha.

Saul is dressed now. He pulls out the ring box to make sure he still has it.

SAUL
Okay, babe. Gotta go.

Saul goes over and kisses Mary passionately.

MARY
Call me.

SAUL
Sure thing.

Saul limps off with cane in hand.

CUT TO:

INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Spacious house. Reeks of wealth. A large top-of-the-line kitchen with granite counters, dual ovens, etc.

ELIZABETH DIMITRIOS, 42, striking beauty, has a game hen roasting in the oven. She checks it. Jimmy embraces her from behind.

ELIZABETH
Oh my.

She turns and kisses him.

JIMMY
Tommy’s at Damon’s. Ashley’s about to go on a date…

ELIZABETH
(interrupting)
Her first date.

JIMMY
Her FIRST date. That just leaves you and me and a big house with lots of places to do it.

ELIZABETH
(laughing)
Well, just keep it in your pants until she leaves.

JIMMY
Her date better get here soon, or I’m not going to make it.

She laughs. Jimmy pulls her in for a long kiss.

The doorbell rings, breaking the mood.

JIMMY
Speak of the devil. I’ll get it.

ELIZABETH
I’ll open us a bottle of wine.

INT. JIMMY’S FOYER – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy opens the door to TRAVIS JACKSON, 18, a tall, young, well-dressed black kid.

JIMMY
Hello?

TRAVIS
Hi, I’m Travis. I’m here to pick up Ashley.

BEAT

JIMMY
Come in.

Travis enters.

JIMMY
(pointing)
Have a seat in the living room. I’ll get her.

TRAVIS
Thank you.

Travis walks into the living room while Jimmy turns and goes into the kitchen.

INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy marches into the kitchen to speak to Elizabeth. There is a kitchen island between them.

JIMMY
(quietly)
You never told me he was a black kid.

ELIZABETH
(pouring a glass of wine)
So?

JIMMY
(quietly)
So!? So, you should’ve told me.

ELIZABETH
What difference does it make?

JIMMY
It’s just…I don’t – I should’ve been told.

ELIZABETH
Jimmy, we live in the twenty-first century. Our kids go to school with black kids, Chinese kids, Mexicans, everything. It’s not like when we were kids. They’re going to meet and like kids of other races and you know what?

JIMMY
What?

ELIZABETH
It’s a good thing. Travis is Mr. Basketball. All-State. He’s going to MSU next year with a full ride. And he’s valedictorian. Don’t judge him by his color.

Jimmy, speechless, turns and exits.

INT. JIMMY’S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy enters. Travis is sitting quietly.

JIMMY
So, I hear you’re good at basketball?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir, the best in the state.

JIMMY
I like the confidence. So you’re going to play for Izzo?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
That’s great. I like it when our kids stay and go to local schools. It kills me when they go to Ohio State.

Jimmy grabs a walnut-shell from a bowl on the small table next to him.

TRAVIS
My dad is the same way. He wouldn’t even let me go look at their campus.

JIMMY
Smart man. I can’t wait to meet him.
(picks up bowl, offering)
Walnut?

TRAVIS
Sure.

He leans over and grabs a walnut.

Jimmy takes the walnut in one hand and cracks it. He removes the nut and eats it. Travis watches and tries to do the same thing. He puts both hands on it and nothing. He even leans his body into it but he can’t break the shell.

JIMMY
Oh. Here.
(hands him a nutcracker)
So, where you headed tonight?

TRAVIS
We’re going to see a movie.

Travis uses the nutcracker and opens the shell.

JIMMY
(nodding his head)
That’s good. That’s nice. So, you’re driving.

TRAVIS
(eating the nut)
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
You have your license?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
Okay. Well if you do any…

The phone rings interrupting Jimmy.

JIMMY
(to Travis)
Hold on.
(answers phone)
Hello?
(beat)
No, I never called him.
(beat)
He what?
(beat — Jimmy’s mood changes mid-conversation — he’s visibly getting pissed)
That doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what he’s talking about. If that fucker is trying to fuck me over, so help me God. Call, Perry and bring him in. I want to talk to him in person.
(beat)
No, no, no, don’t touch him. I want him to be clear when I look him in the eye.

Jimmy hangs up. His mood instantly changes to what it was before he took the call. A chameleon.

JIMMY
Where were we?

TRAVIS
Uh…uh…uh..I don’t –

JIMMY
(interrupting)
Oh yeah, if you do anything to hurt my girl, I won’t be happy.

TRAVIS
Oh, I won’t.

JIMMY
That’s good.
(picks up the walnut bowl, offering)
Another walnut?

TRAVIS
No, thanks.

CUT TO:

Pages 44-46.

I’ve updated this scene to show Martin with a wad of cash. Just trying to build suspicion.

(pages 44, 45 & 46)
INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

PLAYER #1
Look who it is.

PLAYER #2
Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
(to Pitboss)
Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

PLAYER #1
(to Pitboss)
Me too!
(to Player #2)
Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

MARTIN
Where the fuck is our money?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
What? Who is this?

Martin moves closer to the cashier as the line in front dwindles.

MARTIN
Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

SAM
What? Is this a joke?

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

SAM
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

MARTIN
What? What time? To Jimmy?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah to Jimmy.
(beat)
Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it where he told me to.

Martin moves up to the cage and places a large rolled up wad of cash on the counter. The CASHIER looks up.

MARTIN
(to the Cashier, whispering so Sam can’t hear)
Ten grand, please.
(confused)
What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

SAM
I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

BEAT

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
What kind of shit you trying to pull?

SAM
(getting upset)
Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

Click.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

Martin, standing with his rows of chips in one hand, looks at his phone in the other. What the fuck?

He places another call, this time to Jimmy.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah?

MARTIN
You didn’t get a payment from Sam did you?

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
No.

MARTIN
He just told me you called him last night and had him drop it somewhere.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
No, I never called him. Drop it where?

MARTIN
I don’t know, but it sounded like bullshit. I just wanted to check before I did anything.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
Bring him in.

MARTIN
Yes, sir.

Click.

Martin stands with his chips in his hands desperately wanting to play poker, but turns back to the Cashier.

MARTIN
Cash these back in.

CUT TO:

Pages 43-45

If this seems earlier then the other scenes, that’s because it is. I’ve gone back and fixed to make the times play right. Yes, Sam went to bed with the Sun still out. Old people do that sometimes.

(pages 43, 44 & 45)
EXT. LAKESIDE PROPERTY – LATE AFTERNOON

The sun is beginning to set.

From the street side, the house doesn’t look like much, but once you walk around the back, it has a gorgeous view of the lake Superior.

The house has a FOR SALE sign on it. No one is home. Perry walks from the front to the back to take in the view. He pulls a folding lawn chair near the back door and walks it down to the edge of the lake.

He unfolds it and has a seat digesting the view.

BEAT

He makes a phone call.

PERRY
(broken English)
Yes, hello? This is Perry Konstintina. You looking for house for me.
(beat)
Good. I want house on 2313 Lakeside.
(beat)
No offer. I buy full price.
(beat)
That’s okay. I want house. I pay.
(beat)
You get paperwork ready soon?
(beat)
Good. Thank you.

CUT TO:

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

PLAYER #1
Look who it is.

PLAYER #2
Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
(to Pitboss)
Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

PLAYER #1
(to Pitboss)
Me too!
(to Player #2)
Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

MARTIN
Where the fuck is our money?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
What? Who is this?

MARTIN
Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

SAM
What? Is this a joke?

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

SAM
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

MARTIN
What? What time? To Jimmy?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah to Jimmy.
(beat)
Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it off where he told me to.

MARTIN
(confused)
What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

SAM
I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

BEAT

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
What kind of shit you trying to pull?

SAM
(getting upset)
Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

Click.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

Martin looks at his phone. What the fuck?

CUT TO:

Pages 40-42.

(pages 40, 41 & 42)
EXT. DOWNTOWN DETROIT – AFTERNOON

Sam is sitting at a park bench, still wearing the dirt stained suit, eating his dinner of coney dog, french fries and a coke.

The hustle and bustle of the city is all around him. Detroit is hoping today and Sam is sitting still enjoying his dinner.

Across from him is the Woman, just staring at him. Blood starts to seep through her hospital gown between her breasts. Slowly at first, then a lot. Suddenly her whole front is drenched in blood. Sam ignores her.

CUT TO:

INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT

It’s a Detroit ghetto party store complete with bullet-proof partition separating the ARAB CASHIER from the customers.

Dino is looking at the myriad selections of alcohol. He’s holding the same suitcase Sam had dropped off earlier. He grabs a forty ounce of Old English 800. He makes his way to the register.

There’s a CUSTOMER at the register. He grabs his lotto ticket and begins to walk out the door. Dino slides to the register taking his place. He stops and comes back walking through Dino to get back in line.

CUSTOMER
(shouting)
Yo, man, you have me the wrong numbers!

ARAB CASHIER
(with an Arabic accent)
What man?

CUSTOMER
(mocking the Arab with deliberate speech)
You…gave…me…wrong…numbers.

He pushes the ticket back through the partition.

CUSTOMER
Give me the right numbers, man.

The Arab cashier grabs the lotto slip that the customer filled out and looks at it.

ARAB CASHIER
No, man, I give you right numbers. See here.

He holds up the lotto slip to the customer.

CUSTOMER
No, I crossed that number out. It’s supposed to be an X on the seven. I didn’t want…

DINO
(interrupting)
I’ll take your ticket.

CUSTOMER
What?

DINO
Let me buy the ticket he gave you and just get a new one. It’ll take him forever arguing with you.

CUSTOMER
Straight up, man.
(to Arab cashier)
Yo, give me my ticket back.

The Arab passes it through the glass.

CUSTOMER
Five bucks.

Dino hands him the five.

CUSTOMER
(to Arab)
Now run that shit again, but switch the six with seven, like it shows on the ticket.
(to Dino)
I always get June and July mixed up.

Dino smiles.

CUT TO:

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam undresses and throws his suit in the dry clean bag. He strips down to his t-shirt and undies.

INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

Sam washes his face, brushes his teeth, etc. Each time he pops up from the sink, we expect to see the Woman, but she never appears.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

Sam exits the bathroom and goes to get into bed.

In the bed, is the Woman. She’s holding the sheets open for Sam to join her. The bed is saturated in blood. Sam climbs in with her. She pulls the sheets over Sam and wraps her arms around him. He closes his eyes.

CUT TO:

Pages 37-39.

I went back to page 35 and fixed the houseboat idea. I had just read an article on Yahoo about houseboats and they looked so cool that I thought that would be good motivation for Perry, but then I realized you can’t have houseboats year round on the Detroit river. It freezes. So I scraped it for an aft cabin and he’s looking for a piece of property so he can dock it close by.

I think the following two scenes perfectly paint Saul as someone who is capable of stealing Jimmy/Saul’s money. It’s all implied of course leaving many suspicious characters.

(pages 37, 38 & 39)
INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON

Jimmy is sitting at his desk counting payroll.

Martin and Perry enter Jimmy’s office.

MARTIN
Hey boss.

Jimmy looks up.

JIMMY
Is it that time of the month already?

MARTIN
Yes, sir.

Jimmy turns and opens the safe. He pulls out a rolled stack of hundred-dollar bills.

He turns and opens the stack up and begins counting. He quickly peels off some and stops and picks one up. He rubs it. He puts it aside and takes out a marker and marks it. The liquid changes colors revealing that it’s fake.

MARTIN
What’s the problem?

JIMMY
A fake one.

Jimmy continues to go through the stack and pulls out a couple more, setting them aside. He turns and pulls out more stacks from the safe. He repeats the process and pulls out fifteen or so hundred-dollar bills.

JIMMY
What the fuck is this?
(to Martin)
Feel that.

He hands the hundred to Martin. Martin rubs it and passes it to Perry. Perry rubs it.

JIMMY
Look how many there are and they don’t even feel real. Either we have a cashier that’s purposely letting these fake bills through or…

MARTIN
Or what?

CUT TO:

INT. JEWELRY STORE – AFTERNOON

Saul is looking at diamond rings. Big diamond rings.

SALESMAN is pulling out more cases for him to look at.

SAUL
So these are all flawless?

SALESMAN
Yes, these are the best of the best. Perfect clarity, flawless. Look at one of these compared to this.

The Salesman pulls out a ring from another case and holds it up to one that Saul is looking at. Separately, they both look clear and white. Together, the cheap one looks blue.

SALESMAN
You see that? The J color looks like it’s blue when set next to a colorless one.

SAUL
Yeah. It’s perfect. So you think this will put me back in her good graces?

SALESMAN
It worked for Kobe Bryant. And he raped a girl.

The Salesman smiles his own joke.

SAUL
I’ll take this one.

Saul picks out a huge gaudy ring. It’s not subtle.

SALESMAN
Excellent choice, sir. She will be very happy. It’s twenty-five thousand dollars plus tax. How do you want to pay for it?

SAUL
Cash.

SALESMAN
Cash?

Saul pulls several stacks of hundreds out of his suitcoat’s pocket.

SAUL
Cash.

CUT TO:

Page 36.

The writing has slowed down. I feel like I’m in completely new territory. I did an outline of what I’d like to show during day two and it’s something like this:

  • Saul purchases a $25,000 diamond ring for his wife.
  • Martin finds out Perry made a large down payment on a piece of land.
  • We find out Martin likes to play poker and is pretty bad and loses a lot of money at it.
  • I also want to build upon Jimmy’s character, but am unsure on how to do that at this point. A work in progress. I need to do a Jimmy blog like I did for Sam.
  • Sam’s character arch. When should I reveal the Woman is Sam’s wife? When do I reveal how Sam killed her?

  • (page 36)
    INT. SMALL’S BAR – AFTERNOON

    The bar is empty. Lou is sitting at the bar watching TV when Sam walks in.

    Sam is still covered in mud from the tumble he took before.

    LOU
    Hey, Sam. Glad to see you made it home safely last night.

    SAM
    Yeah. Thanks for that.

    Lou gets up and walks behind the bar. He grabs the bottle of scotch and pulls out a tumbler.

    LOU
    The usual?

    SAM
    Yeah.

    Lou pours him a scotch on the rocks and places the glass on a napkin in front of Sam.

    Sam seems distant, lost in thought. He places his hands near his head mimicking a prayer. The Woman is sitting on the bar stool next to him. He ignores her. He holds out his hands to see how steady they are and neither of them are shaking.

    SAM
    You know what, Lou?

    LOU
    What’s that?

    Sam pulls off his wedding ring and drops it in the scotch.

    SAM
    I’m done drinking. How about a water?

    CUT TO: