Pages seventy-five, seventy-six, seventy-seven and seventy-eight.

(pages 75,76,77 & 78)
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX – NIGHT

Sam is standing in front of Sherry’s apartment door. He just stands there for several seconds. He places his balled up right-hand fist on the door to knock but hesitates. Instead he starts rummaging through his pockets and pulls out his knife. He opens it and gets it ready. With his knife in his right hand, he balls up his left hand and goes to knock. Again, he doesn’t. He starts taking in a series of rapid breaths much like a deep-sea diver does before they dive. He goes to knock.

Dino opens the door.

DINO
Who are you? What are you doing here?

SAM
Are you Dino?

DINO
Who wants to know.

Sam punches Dino square in the jaw. Dino sprawls backwards knocking frames off the walls as he clutches for something to grab on to.

Dino lands on his back.

DINO
What the fuck?

In trying to make himself seem intimidating, Sam extends his small three-inch blade out as far as he can.

SAM
How did you know I owed the money to Jimmy?

DINO
What? What money?

Sherry comes running out of the bedroom.

She sees Dino on the ground and kneels down to help him.

SHERRY
Now what’s going on? How many people do you know that want to kill you, Dino?

DINO
I don’t even know who the fuck this guy is. Go call the cops, babe.

SAM
Don’t go anywhere.

DINO
Fuck you. Go call them.

Sherry gets up and goes for the phone. Sam tries to hop over Dino, but Dino grabs his leg. As Sam falls down, he grabs Sherry’s hair and pulls her down.

DINO
You motherfucker!

Dino climbs on Sam’s back and starts punching him in the kidneys, back and the back of the head.

DINO
I’m going to kill you, you motherfucker.

Dino is relentless with his punching.

Sherry extracts herself from Sam’s clutches and stands up. She doesn’t know what to do. Dino is a wild man flailing with everything he’s got.

DINO
Motherfucker! Motherfucker!

Sam takes a firm grip of his knife and reaches back in a desperation move, swipes the blade at Dino’s face. He misses the face, but slices the jugular instead. Blood starts squirting like a faucet.

SHERRY
Aaaaaaah!

Dino sees the blood pouring on his hands.

DINO
What the?

Dino holds his throat.

DINO
Oh my God?

Dino keeps checking the blood on his hands like he can’t believe it.

DINO
Call the hospital, babe.

Sherry runs to the phone.

Sam can see the phone line from where he’s laying. He cuts it.

Sherry picks up the phone, but there is no dial-tone.

SHERRY
It’s dead.

Sherry looks and sees that Sam has cut the line.

SHERRY
What the fuck did you do? You bastard!

Sherry starts beating Sam over the head with the phone. Sam covers up for a second and then plunges the knife into Sherry’s ankle.

SHERRY
Aaaaaah!

Sherry falls over clutching her ankle.

Sam pushes Dino off of himself and climbs on top of Sherry. He starts jabbing the knife into her chest repeatedly until she stops moving. He’s killed her.

Sam stares at Sherry for several seconds. He then closes her eyes. He climbs off of her and stands up. As soon as he stands up, he keels over puking.

Sam wipes the puke off of his face with his bloodied shirt, smearing blood all over his face. He takes his hands and tries to wipe the blood off of them with the other. It doesn’t work.

Sam looks at the mess he’s created. There’s blood everywhere.

Sam exits.

CUT TO:

Pages seventy-three and seventy-four.

I can’t sleep tonight. So I might as well write.

(pages 73 & 74)
EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Sam is sitting on the curb in downtown Greektown. There are a few DETROITERS out this night walking the street. None are paying any attention to drunken Sam.

Sam takes a small flip-knife out of his pocket and flips it open. He untucks his white dress shirt and cuts a rectangular piece out of it. He puts his knife away.

Sam opens the bottle of vodka and pours it onto the cloth. He then
stuffs the end of the rag into the bottle creating a Molotov cocktail.

Sam pulls out a lighter and strikes the flint. It creates a flame. He closes it distinguishing the fire.

Sam gets off his ass and walks into Jimmy’s restaurant.

INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy is sitting near the entrance when Sam stumbles in with the cocktail in his left hand and the lighter in his right.

Jimmy’s eyes light up when he sees the Molotov cocktail in Sam’s hand. He springs out of the table.

SAM
Where is he!?

JIMMY
Don’t do anything stupid, Sam.

SAM
Tell me where he is or I’ll burn this whole fucking place down!

JIMMY
Who?

SAM
Don’t fuck with me! You know God damn well who. Dino! Where the fuck is he!?

JIMMY
Give me a minute. I have to call Martin.

SAM
You have one minute.

Jimmy takes out his phone and dials Martin.

MARTIN (O.S.)
Hey boss.

JIMMY
Do you still have Dino?

MARTIN (O.S.)
I already dropped him off.

JIMMY
Where?

MARTIN (O.S.)
His girlfriend’s place. Sunrise apartments.

JIMMY
Which apartment?

MARTIN (O.S.)
Apartment three-one-two.

JIMMY
Thanks.

Jimmy hangs up.

JIMMY
He’s at Sunrise Apartments, apartment three-one-two.

Sam doesn’t say anything. He just turns around and leaves.

Jimmy turns and looks at his customers.

JIMMY
Where the fuck are the police when you need them? Is everyone okay? I’m sorry about that.

Jimmy sits down at his booth and pulls out his phone.

MARTIN (O.S.)
Yeah, boss?

JIMMY
I want you and Perry to take care of Sam.

MARTIN (O.S.)
What about the money?

JIMMY
I don’t care about it anymore.

MARTIN (O.S.)
Whoa, boss, that’s a lot of money.

Jimmy starts rubbing his temples.

JIMMY
Do what you can, but I want Sam dead.

MARTIN (O.S.)
Yes, sir.

Jimmy hangs up.

JIMMY
(to no one)
FUCK!

CUT TO:

Pages sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-one and seventy-two.

I’m not so sure about this scene. I don’t think I need to bring Alex to Sophia. This will probably all be ripped out. I was having a difficult time writing it, but I didn’t want it to keep me from progressing , so I just put it on paper. The only thing I like about it is that it’s the first time we see Perry as a violent person and I want Alex to be even more despicable than we think he is already so the audience is rooting for the violence. But I think I can do it better than I have now.

(pages 69, 70, 71 & 72)
INT. HOSPITAL – CONTINUOUS

Perry leads Alex into the room.

Sophia is asleep in the hospital bed.

Perry walks over to her and kisses her on the forehead waking her up.

SOPHIA
Hey.

PERRY
Hey. Is this him?

Sophia looks over and sees Alex. She stirs in her bed.

SOPHIA
Yeah, it’s him. Get him out of here.

PERRY
Okay. Go back to sleep. Don’t worry, you’ll never have to see him again.
(to Alex)
Let’s go.

Perry grabs Alex by the arm and forcefully pushes him out of the room.

INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION AREA – CONTINUOUS

Perry is pushing Alex through the hospital.

ALEX
What are you going to do to me?

PERRY
I don’t know yet. Something awful.

ALEX
Look man, she’s a prostitute. She’s like the lowest form of humanity.

PERRY
Oh yeah? You’re the morality expert?

ALEX
They have no souls. They’re incapable of love or feelings. They just use people for money. Fucking whores.

Perry continues to push Alex out the door of the hospital.

EXT. HOSPITAL – CONTINUOUS

Perry and Alex are walking towards a security station. Inside is a SECURITY GUARD.

PERRY
Keep talking. You’re making my decision easier. I was just going to cut your nuts off, but I don’t think you deserve to live.

Alex thrusts himself into Perry to knock Perry off-balance. Then Alex rips through Perry’s grip and runs to the security station.

ALEX
Help! Help! This guy’s got a gun! He says he’s going to kill me!

Perry walks up to the security station with both hands held up showing he means no harm.

The Security Guard pulls out his taser.

SECURITY GUARD
Hold it right there!

PERRY
I’m a police officer. I’m going to pull out my badge, so don’t do anything stupid.

ALEX
He’s not a cop. He’s lying! He’s going to pull out a gun.

PERRY
I’m going real slow so don’t panic.

Perry slowly pulls out his wallet out of his back pocket. He flips it open and shows the Security Guard a badge.

The Security Guard squints to see it and then holsters his taser.

SECURITY GUARD
I’m sorry, Officer. My mistake.

Perry walks over and grabs Alex by the arm.

PERRY
No worries. Desperate people will do desperate things. Let’s go asshole.

Perry pushes him towards the parking lot.

ALEX
What the fuck? You’re actually a cop? Why don’t you just arrest me?

PERRY
It’s really hard for me to hate someone. I understand that life is difficult and different experiences affect people differently than others and it makes us all unique with different opinions for viewpoints. I genuinely hate you.

Perry and Alex arrive at the car.

PERRY
Put your hands on the hood.

ALEX
What? You’re going to pat me down?

PERRY
Just shut up and do it.

Alex puts his hands on the hood.

Perry looks around to see if there’s anyone around. There isn’t.

Perry puts his hands on Alex’s shoulders and starts patting him.

PERRY
Spread your legs.

Alex spreads his legs.

Perry reaches down and grabs Alex’s crotch through his pants and violently squeezes them as hard as he can.

ALEX
(moaning)
Ugh……Aaah!

Alex is in so much pain he’s barely able to emit a sound. He collapses to the ground. Perry still hasn’t let go.

PERRY
Say goodbye to your power, asshole.

ALEX
(barely audible)
Aaaaaaaa…

Alex sounds more like a mouse than a human. He has tears streaming down his face and saliva running out of his mouth. His face is beat red. Perry still hasn’t let go.

Alex passes out.

PERRY
Alex? Alex?

Perry releases his grip and takes Alex’s body and places it under the car. He wraps Alex’s legs around the tire so that his privates are directly under the tire. He moves the head to the side of the car.

Perry gets in the car and reverses over Alex’s nuts. The car drives like it went over a speed bump.

Perry pops open the trunk.

Perry gets out of the car and picks up Alex’s limp body and throws it into the trunk. He closes it.

Perry gets back into the car and drives away.

CUT TO:

Sixty-eight.

For those following along, I changed the name of Jerry to Alex. It just felt weird having a Perry and a Jerry in the same scene. All names except Perry and Martin are subject to change. Although, I do like Sam and Jimmy’s names so they’ll probably stay too.

(page 68)
EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Perry is forcing Alex into the hospital. They are just outside the hospital entrance.

Alex starts resisting.

ALEX
I can’t go in there.

PERRY
Yes, you can. Let’s go.

Alex drops to his knees while Perry is dragging him.

A couple of OLDER PEOPLE walk out of the hospital and stare and them.

Perry nods at them.

PERRY
If you don’t get off of your ass right now, we’re going to back to your house and I’m going to do to your wife what you did to that girl upstairs and I’m going to make you watch. Got it?

Alex doesn’t respond.

Perry shakes him.

PERRY
Got it!?

ALEX
Yeah.

PERRY
What?

ALEX
Yeah, I said yeah, I got it.

PERRY
Good. Let’s go inside.

Alex gets off the ground and slowly walks inside.

Pages sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six and sixty-seven.

Here’s a link to an article about rewriting. I’ll go back to it when I’m finished with the draft.

I’m not sure if the scene below is finished or not. It feels unfinished, but I’m not sure what I should add to it. So I’ll just leave it open in case I think of something in the next day or so.

(Pages 64, 65, 66 & 67)
INT. CAR – NIGHT

Martin is driving his car. In the back seat are Dino and Sherry. Dino
is passed out and Sherry is tending to his face.

Martin looks back in the mirror.

SHERRY
Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?

MARTIN
He’ll be fine. It’s the drug making him sleep.

SHERRY
What did you give him?

MARTIN
Sodium pentothal. The truth serum.

SHERRY
Really? That’s real?

MARTIN
The drug is real. The effects are often questioned. Some don’t think it works and others do.

SHERRY
What do you think?

MARTIN
I think it works on some people and not on others.

SHERRY
Do you think it worked on Dino?

MARTIN
If I didn’t, he’d be dead right now.

Sherry runs her hand over Dino’s face. She lightly slaps him. Dino doesn’t respond.

SHERRY
Do you have any water?

MARTIN
Yeah.

Martin hands her a water bottle.

Sherry pours some water in her hands and splashes it on Dino.

MARTIN
You should let him sleep. He’s not going to feel too good for the next
few days.

Sherry ignores him and pours more water on Dino’s face. This time Dino reacts.

DINO
Mmmmm. Mmmmm. What?

SHERRY
Get up, honey.

DINO
What? What?

SHERRY
Wake up, I want to talk to you.

DINO
I’m up.

SHERRY
Do you love me?

DINO
Of course I love you. Why would you ask me that?

SHERRY
I just needed to know.

Sherry strokes Dino’s face some more. She kisses him.

SHERRY
Do you love your wife?

DINO
Yeah, I love my wife. What’s going on here?

SHERRY
Do you plan on leaving her for me?

DINO
It’s moot. She left me.

SHERRY
If she didn’t leave you, would you have left her for me?

DINO
No. I don’t think I could’ve.

SHERRY
Then why were you with me? Why did you keep telling me you were going to leave her?

DINO
Because I didn’t want you to leave me.

Sherry starts tearing up.

SHERRY
So it was okay for me to be with a man that was never going to leave his wife.

DINO
I don’t know what you want me to say.

SHERRY
The truth, asshole! I just want the truth!

DINO
The truth? The truth is I only need you when I want to fuck. It’s not rocket science. What else do I need you for? I already have a wife.

Sherry turns away.

DINO
What? Now you’re upset? Jesus, that’s why you can’t be honest with anyone. No one wants the truth. What’s the difference? I’m with you now anyways. Isn’t that whats important?

SHERRY
I wish it was. I wish it was.

DINO
What’s that mean?

MARTIN
Hey, Dino?

DINO
What?

MARTIN
Shut up and go back to sleep.

Making it easier.

I wasn’t sure how things were going to go when I began my quest to finish a script within three months, so I didn’t tell anyone about it. I just started posting. Well, forty plus pages in and my friends started getting curious, but they sounded annoyed that they were so far behind. I realized that my blog and widgets weren’t set up to help them, or anyone else for that matter, to follow. Sometimes I forget that not everyone uses RSS feeds like I do (I absolutely love them). So I’ve updated my blog and added widgets to help everyone follow better. Widgets are those things on the side of the post.

I’m enjoying this so much that I’ve already started my next spec script. But one project at a time.

Page sixty-three.

Another problem that I’ve noticed is the language of the characters are always the same. It’s an easy mistake to make — I’m the one writing all the characters so they all sound like me. Perry, especially, needs to be reimagined. I see him like the Benecio Del Toro character in The Usual Suspects or Brad Pitt’s character in Snatch. Both characters I love. I think that small thing will go a long way.

(page 63)
INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT

Sam is next in line at the party store. A FEMALE CUSTOMER is ahead of him.

The CASHIER #2, 26, is middle eastern.

The Cashier hands change back to the Female Customer.

CASHIER #2
Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice night.

The Cashier #2 looks at Sam. Sam is standing with his eyes closed.

CASHIER #2
Can I help you?

Sam appears to be sleeping.

CASHIER #2
SIR!

Sam opens his eyes.

SAM
Oh yeah, sorry. I need some liquor. Something cheap.

The Cashier #2 gives him something in a small bottle.

SAM
No, no, no. Something bigger. A pint at least.

The Cashier #2 grabs a pint of vodka.

CASHIER #2
It doesn’t get cheaper than this.

SAM
That’ll work.

CASHIER #2
Three-fifty.

Sam gives him the cash and they complete their transaction. Sam stumbles out of the party store and the Cashier #2 watches him as he goes.

Cashier #2 shakes his head in disbelief. Another CUSTOMER is at the counter.

CASHIER #2
Some people don’t know when to say when.

CUT TO:

Pages fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one & sixty-two.

Sixty-two pages in and there’s no redeeming quality to my protagonist. Not good. That will be my number one fix during the re-write. I think for this film to work, the audience needs to feel sympathy for him. That’s what makes ninety percent of movies work. I’m not getting that yet. And yes, I pulled that stat right out of the air.

(pages 59-62)
INT. BAR – NIGHT

Sam is sitting at the bar barely able to keep himself upright. He’s
drunk. His cellphone starts ringing. He answers it.

SAM
Hello?

JIMMY (O.S.)
Look, Sam, Martin just got finished with Dino and he doesn’t think he stole your money.

SAM
Bullshit! That’s fucking bullshit and you know it!

JIMMY (O.S.)
I really don’t know what the fuck to tell you. I really don’t care where my money comes from, I just want my money. Now it’s on you.

SAM
Fuck you, Jimmy! I don’t know what kind of scam you’re pulling on me, but you’re not getting another fucking nickel from me.

There’s a several second pause. Jimmy has hung up.

SAM
Jimmy? Jimmy? God damn it!

Sam smashes his phone on the ground. It startles everyone in the bar.

JOEY
Whoa, whoa, Sam calm down.

SAM
I’m calm. I’m fine. Give me another drink.

JOEY
Sorry, Sam, it’s not going to happen. Let me call you a cab.

SAM
I don’t want a cab. I want another drink.

JOEY
Sam.

Joey stares at Sam for a couple of seconds until Sam gets the meaning.

SAM
Fine. Fuck it. I’ll go somewhere else.

Sam stumbles out the door.

INT. PERRY’S CAR – NIGHT

Perry is driving a nice black sedan. He’s driving in an upscale suburban area with large houses. He looks at the houses as he passes them. He glances on a piece of paper with an address on it.

Perry sees the house and pulls his car into the driveway.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOME – NIGHT

Perry exits the car and walks to the front door. He rings the doorbell.

A middle-aged attractive WOMAN, 47, opens the door. She’s holding a TODDLER, 2, in her arms.

WOMAN
Can I help you?

PERRY
Hello, I’m looking for Jerry. Is he home.

WOMAN
Yeah. Hey, Jerry!

JERRY (O.S.)
Yeah?

WOMAN
There’s someone here to see you.

PERRY
Is that your baby?

WOMAN
No. It’s my grand-daughter.

PERRY
Oh, really? You don’t look old enough to be a grandmother.

WOMAN
Thank you.

JERRY, 46, a very normal looking white man with glasses, walks into the foyer from the hallway.

JERRY
Can I help you?

PERRY
Jerry Miller?

JERRY
Yeah, that’s me.

PERRY
Do you mind if we talk outside in private?

Jerry looks at his wife and shrugs his shoulder.

JERRY
Sure.

Jerry exits the house and shuts the door behind him.

INT. SUBURBAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

Woman peeks behind a curtain to watch the conversation.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

JERRY
What’s this about?

PERRY
You’re going to take a ride with me, Jerry.

JERRY
I’m sorry?

PERRY
There’s a young woman in the hospital that you’re going to apologize to.

JERRY
I’m sorry, but I think you’ve got the wrong guy.

PERRY
I never get the wrong man, but we can let the girl decide that. You just need to get in the car.

JERRY
Are you the police?

PERRY
No.

JERRY
Then I don’t have to go anywhere with you.

PERRY
Jerry, I think you’d be better off dealing with me than the police on this one. Don’t you think?

JERRY
I think you better get the fuck off of my property is what I think.

Perry punches Jerry right in the face and Jerry drops to the ground.

Perry punches him again and Jerry lays still on the ground.
Woman comes running out of the house with toddler in arms.

WOMAN
Hey! What are you doing!? Leave him alone!

PERRY
Ma’am, I think it’s best you stay in the house. Tell her, Jerry.

Perry flashes his gun to Jerry.

JERRY
Get in the house, Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH
What’s going on?

Jerry turns to look at her.

JERRY
Just get in the house. It’ll be okay.

Elizabeth backs into the house and shuts the door.

Perry grabs Jerry by the arm to lift him up.

PERRY
Let’s go.

CUT TO:

Page fifty-eight.

(page 58)
EXT. STORAGE UNIT – NIGHT

Martin exits the storage unit. He takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights himself a smoke. His knuckles are cut and bleeding. He then takes out his cell phone and makes a call.

JIMMY (O.S.)
Yeah?

MARTIN
I’ve got nothing, Jimmy. I’ve heard a million different stories, but he hasn’t told me what I want to hear.

JIMMY (O.S.)
What do you think?

MARTIN
I think he’s got one of the greatest imaginations I’ve ever seen, but I don’t think he stole that money from us. He says he found the suitcase in a trash can down by Hart Plaza empty. And I believe him.

JIMMY (O.S.)
All right, cut him loose. Tell him we’re sorry.

Martin hangs up.

Martin looks up. It’s a full moon.

Martin finishes his cigarette, throws it on the ground and stomps it out.

Martin enters the storage unit.

CUT TO:

Pages fifty-five, fifty-six and fifty-seven.

I can’t get used to writing at home. I can’t find a routine. I used to like doing everything at night because it was quieter with fewer distractions, but I don’t think my mind is as sharp then and I think my writing is suffering because of it.

I recently met up with one of my friends that is following the script and he gave me some more great feedback. He says that Sam is getting lost and the characters are too stereotyped. I agree with him. It’s something I’ve thought about as I was writing and it’s something I’m going to tackle in the rewrites. One thing I’m concerned about with this type of film is that the characters can quickly become caricatures. There’s a fine line I have to walk. Right now, I’m just drawing the outline. Later, I’ll start filling in the details.

(pages 55, 56 & 57)
INT. PERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Perry is sitting in a chair listening to Greek music. He pulls out a
tray of weed from under his chair. He rolls a joint and starts smoking it.

Perry takes a look at his watch. He pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.

Sophia answers the phone.

SOPHIA (O.S.)
Hello?

PERRY
Sophia, baby, where are you?

SOPHIA (O.S.)
I’m sorry, Perry, I forgot to call you. I can’t make it tonight. I may not be able to see you in a while.

PERRY
Why not?

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Perry enters a wing of the hospital. He enters a room.

Sophia is in a bed. Her face is barely recognizable. It’s swollen, black and blue with both eyes blackened. She sees Perry and covers her face.

SOPHIA
Perry, I told you I didn’t want you to see me like this.

Perry walks to her bedside. He grabs her hands and pulls them away. She looks aways.

PERRY
Hey, hey, hey…

Perry tilts her head back towards him.

PERRY
You’ll always be beautiful to me. You never have to worry about what you look like on the outside to me.

Sophia starts crying.

Perry leans over and kisses her cheek.

PERRY
Who did this to you?

SOPHIA
I don’t know. I mean, I have a first name, but the number was blocked. And I’m sure it wasn’t his real name.

PERRY
Where did you meet?

SOPHIA
At my place.

PERRY
Where’s your phone?

SOPHIA
It’s right behind you.

Perry turns around and finds it. He picks it up and scrolls through the calls.

PERRY
Is this the call, at eight-thirty?

SOPHIA
Yeah.

Perry makes a phone call.

NICK answers.

PERRY
Hey, Nick, it’s Perry.

NICK
Hey, Perry.

PERRY
I need a favor. The number I’m calling you with had a blocked number call them at eight-thirty this afternoon. Can you find out what number that was?

NICK
I’ll try. Hold on a sec.

PERRY
(to Sophia)
This is what I do. I find people who don’t want to be found.

SOPHIA
Like a bounty hunter?

PERRY
Kinda. But I don’t report them to the cops.

NICK
Hey, Perry.

PERRY
Yeah, Nick?

NICK
Got a pen?