Page forty and forty-one.

(pages 40 & 41)
INT. SAM’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The phone starts ringing on Sam’s desk. He answers it.

SAM
Yeah?

CHERYL (O.S.)
There’s a Martin here to see you. He said you’d want to see him.

SAM
Okay.

Sam hangs up the phone.

SAM
Will you excuse me please?

CLIENT
Sure.

Sam gets up and exits his office.

INT. WAITING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Sams enters.

SAM
What the hell are you doing here?

MARTIN
You tell me, Sam.

SAM
I paid you. Get the hell out of my office.

MARTIN
You see, that’s where I’m confused. I talked to Jimmy and he says you never paid.

There’s several seconds of silence.

SAM
What?

MARTIN
He says you never paid. I don’t know what you’re talking about you paid. Are you trying to cheat us?

SAM
Hey, I dropped off the money where Jimmy, or you, told me to. After that, I’m not responsible.

MARTIN
Where did you drop it off.

SAM
Down by the Hart Plaza, where I was told.

MARTIN
Who told you?

SAM
I thought it was you, but it must have been Jimmy.

MARTIN
You didn’t ask?

SAM
Jimmy’s the only person I owe money to and that would fucking call me at three in the morning.

MARTIN
Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but you owe us and Jimmy is not going to take that bullshit for an answer. You better come up with the money.

SAM
Hey, someone called me and it was one of you guys. Someone is either trying to fuck me or fuck Jimmy and that caller sounded just like you.

Martin slaps Sam across the face.

MARTIN
Watch what you say. I know you and I respect you, but we never told you to drop it off anywhere but in our hands. If you’re too stupid to find out who’s calling you or speak to us directly, then that’s on you, not us. I’ll give you two more days to come up with our money. And that’s being very generous.

Martin exits.

Pages thirty-eight and thirty-nine.

These pages probably won’t survive the edit, but I’m struggling to come up something exciting and I don’t want to stop my writing routine. I’m pretty happy to have this many pages after just thirty days. Although, I do remember reading stories of people writing a screenplay in one sitting. I’ve actually watched a movie from one of those scripts in which the writer/director professed to do such a thing. I didn’t make it twenty minutes into the movie.

Below is a page where Sam is with a client. I have many attorney friends and I’m going to pick their brain for a funnier more original scene. This is just to get me through until then.

(pages 38 & 39)
INT. SAM’S OFFICE – MORNING

Sam is sitting at his desk across from a CLIENT, a very pretty woman, 30s,

SAM
So you want the house, the car and the kids.

CLIENT
I don’t want both of the cars. Just the one I drive. He can keep his. And I want full custody.

SAM
Any infidelity?

CLIENT
That he knows about? No. I don’t think so.

SAM
Well, I meant him, but it’s nice to know that you’ve cheated on him now before we get into the courtroom. So, who are you sleeping with? Anyone he knows?

CLIENT
His brother. And his boss. And..

CUT TO:

INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Martin walks into the office. Sam’s assistant, Cheryl, is working at the reception desk.

CHERYL
Hello. Can I help you?

MARTIN
Hello, how are you?

CHERYL
I’m fine. Did you want to set up an appointment?

MARTIN
No, that’s not necessary. I’m a friend of Sam. I just came to say hi.

CHERYL
He’s with a client now. Do you mind having a seat in the waiting room for him?

MARTIN
Sam has never told me about you. I didn’t know he had such a pretty woman working for him. What do you do?

CHERYL
Everything he doesn’t, which is a lot.

MARTIN
Isn’t that the way? The guys on the top take everything and we do all the work. Speaking of guys on the top, what are you doing later tonight.

CHERYL
You move fast.

MARTIN
Life is short. I don’t want to miss anything. Especially the pretty things. I’m Martin.

He extends his hand. Cheryl reciprocates.

CHERYL
I’m Cheryl.

MARTIN
Pretty name for a pretty face.

Martin kisses her hand.

CHERYL
Sorry to disappoint, but I’m married.

MARTIN
No disappointment. We just won’t tell him.

CHERYL
Why don’t you have a seat in the waiting room?

Martin holds up his hands.

MARTIN
Okay, okay, I’m waiving the white flag. Why don’t you buzz Sam? He’ll want to see me right away.

Cheryl picks up the phone receiver.

Pages thirty-six and thirty-seven.

Mostly what I’ve written so far has already been done somewhere and at some point. I’ve just touched it up some. Now it’s starts to get difficult. I’m at the point where I’m unsure of how to get from point A to point B and it still be entertaining and engaging. Judging by most of the movies I’ve watched lately, I’m not the only one with this problem.

(pages 36 & 37)
INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

Martin hangs up the phone.

MARTIN
Sam wouldn’t welch, would he?

PERRY
Welch? What does that mean?

MARTIN
To renig on a deal.

PERRY
Renig? What does that mean?

MARTIN
Jesus, Perry, you need to read more.

PERRY
Hey! No blasphemy.

MARTIN
Blasphemy? What does that mean?

PERRY
You know, when you use the lord’s name in vain.

MARTIN
I didn’t know you were a religious man.

PERRY
I’m not.

MARTIN
Then why do you care?

PERRY
Just in case. So what’s with Sam?

MARTIN
He says he already paid, then hung up on me and now he’s not answering.

PERRY
Hmm.

MARTIN
It’s not like him. It doesn’t make sense.

PERRY
Should we tell Jimmy?

MARTIN
Let’s give Sam the benefit of the doubt. We’ll see him in person first.

INT. ROOM

Dino is counting a large stack of money on a desk. He start throwing it all into a duffel bag. He takes out a gun from the desk and checks to make sure it’s loaded. He throws it in with the money.

Dino takes out his phone and makes a call.

FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Parthenon.

DINO
Tell Jimmy it’s Dino.

There is a few second pause.

JIMMY (O.S.)
Hello?

DINO
Yeah, Jimmy, I’ve got your money. I want the girl back.

JIMMY (O.S.)
I think you’re confused. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

DINO
What!? I said I’ve got your money and I want my girl back! Where is she?

JIMMY (O.S.)
Dino, maybe you should shut up and come down and see me in person. Then we can clear it up.

DINO
What? Oh, okay. I’ll be down later.

Jimmy hangs up then Dino.

Page thirty-five.

One of my favorite new sites is Happyplace.com. They post hilarious tweets and Facebook posts from people. Today, they posted this article about the proper use of your and you’re. I thought it was relevent because I’ve been talking about proper grammar lately.

(page 35)
INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

Martin and Perry are sitting at the table.

MARTIN
That was weird.

PERRY
What?

Martin dials Sam again.

INT. BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

The phone starts ringing again in Sam’s room. Sam rips the phone out of the wall.

INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

Martin hangs up the phone.

MARTIN
Sam wouldn’t welch, would he?

PERRY
Welch? What does that mean?

MARTIN
To renig on a deal.

PERRY
Renig? What does that mean?

MARTIN
Jesus, Perry, you need to read more.

PERRY
Hey! No blasphemy.

MARTIN
Blasphemy? What does that mean?

CUT TO:

Page thirty-four.

Yesterday, my friend sent me some great notes on how to make the script better. One of his suggestions was that the cutaway scenes with Perry and Martin are too long. He recommends shortening them to about thirty seconds of screen time for the joke to be effective. And the other point was there isn’t enough of the protagonist. So far, Sam, who is the lead, is barely in the screenplay.

I agree with him on both counts. I may ultimately decide to keep the length of the Perry and Martin scenes, but as a cutaway, they don’t work. I’ll probably end up writing it both ways and see what I like best. He also suggested Sam’s struggle needs to be greater and gave me some examples.

I’m going to take the notes with me to the rewrites. I don’t want to go back and start fixing things already. I vaguely remember rewriting the same scenes dozens of times for the writing group (the same one he was in) and never moving forward. I’m trying to break that trap.

Below isn’t déjà vu but our first plot point. Sam has already dropped the money off at the weird drop off point. He’s about to get another call asking him for the money….again.

(page 34)
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Against a black screen a telephone rings.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

There is a rustling sound in the darkness.

The phone is answered.

SAM
Hello?

VOICE (O.S.)
Where the fuck is our money?

SAM
What?

VOICE (O.S.)
You fucking heard me. Where the fuck the money?

Sam turns on the light.

SAM
Are you fucking with me? Who is this?

MARTIN
It’s Martin. I’m calling for Jimmy. He wants his money.

SAM
Look, I don’t know what game you’re playing, but it’s three in the fucking morning and I have to work tomorrow. Don’t fucking bother me again.

Sam hangs up.

Pages thirty-two and thirty-three

It’s funny, but the spelling errors I see online all the time keep cropping up in my script. The wrong use of than, then, to, too or you’re and your are annoying and sometimes imply that people aren’t very intelligent, but I’m thinking that mostly they’re lazy mistakes. I’m writing so fast that I’m not really concerned about the grammatical errors figuring I’ll fix them later. And since this is for personal use, I’m not too concerned. I just hope people don’t think I’m a dummy (well, maybe I am and this is just the proof that I’ve been ignoring). And I’ll start giving more people the benefit of the doubt when I read mistakes online.

(pages 32 & 33)
The Pit Boss hits a button on his collar and talks into it.

PIT BOSS
I need a rewind on table five…

PLAYER #3
Bad beat is the most I’ve ever seen it too.

PLAYER #7
I know how you get a bad beat, but what does that mean? Why’s everyone going crazy?

PLAYER #3
You see that number on the wall in red?

He points to something that resembles a clock, but it has a dollar amount of $87,932 on it.

PLAYER #7
The eighty-seven hundred?

PLAYER #3
Yeah. The loser of the hand gets half. The winner gets twenty-five percent and the rest is divided up amongst the rest of us.

PLAYER #7
Oh, damn! So we just lost three grand?

PLAYER #3
Looks like it.

PIT BOSS
I’m sorry, sir, but your hand hit the muck and it was face down. We can’t award the bad beat to you.

The table lets out a big moan.

MARTIN
Are you fucking kidding me? As much money as I lose in this mother fucking casino, you’re going to fuck me!?

Martin grabs the table and tries to turn it over, but it’s cemented to the ground. Instead he starts grabbing his chips and throwing them at the Pit Boss.

Two large SECURITY GUARDS rush over and restrain Martin.

PIT BOSS
Get him the fuck out of here! Don’t ever let me see you again.

EXT. CASINO – NIGHT

The two Security Guards throw Martin into the street. Martin gets up and dusts himself.

MARTIN
Fucking cock suckers.

INT. PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

Pit Boss is walking down the deck in a poorly lit garage deck. He takes out his keys and pushes a button that makes his car beep. He walks towards it.

As the Pit Boss reaches the car, Martin emerges from the shadows. He is behind the Pit Boss.

MARTIN
Hey!

The Pit Boss turns around.

PIT BOSS
What the fuck do you want?

Martin, wearing surgical gloves, pulls out a switchblade and violently and repeatedly stabs the Pit Boss in the chest.

The Pit Boss collapses to the ground. Martin searches for his wallet and finds it in the breast pocket of his suit coat. Martin removes the cash and throws the wallet down.

EXT. GREEKTOWN – MOMENTS LATER

A BLIND STREET MUSICIAN is playing a broken three-string-guitar rather poorly.

Martin throws the bloody switchblade into the guitar case. It chimes with the other change in the case.

STREET MUSICIAN
Thanks, brother!

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Perry and Martin are sitting at the table.

MARTIN
I won a little money at the casino and went home.

Pages thirty and thirty-one.

This is more of the last scene. I’m still not finished.

(Pages 30, 31)
Martin quickly reaches out for his cards, but the Dealer has his hands on the muck.

Martin puts his fingers on his two cards and pulls them back.

MARTIN
These are my cards. I hit the bad beat.

DEALER
I’m sorry, sir, but they’re in the muck.

MARTIN
So fucking what?

DEALER
Once they’re in the muck, they’re folded. There’s nothing I can do about it.

PLAYER #4
Are you fucking kidding?

DEALER
I’m sorry. That’s the house rules.

MARTIN
Fuck the house! They don’t know.

DEALER
The eye in the sky sees and knows everything. There’s nothing I can do. I’ll lose my job and probably go to jail.

The PIT BOSS walks over.

PIT BOSS
What’s all the commotion over here?

DEALER
We had a bad beat situation here, but the player threw his losing hand into the muck before showing his cards.

MARTIN
These are my cards right here. I never threw them in.

PIT BOSS
Those are your two cards?

MARTIN
Yes.

PIT BOSS
Flip them over.

Martin flips them over exposing the two kings.

The Pit Boss examines the hand.

PIT BOSS
Well, that definitely a bad beat. Now we have to decide if you mucked them. We’ll let upstairs decide.

The Pit Boss hits a button on his collar and talks into it.

PIT BOSS
I need a rewind on table five…

player #3
Bad beat is the most I’ve ever seen it too.

PLAYER #7
I know how you get a bad beat, but what does that mean? Why’s everyone going crazy?

PLAYER #3
You see that number on the wall in red?

He points to something that resembles a clock, but it has a dollar amount of $87,932 on it.

PLAYER #7
The eighty-seven hundred?

PLAYER #3
Yeah. The loser of the hand gets half. The winner gets twenty-five percent and the rest is divided up amongst the rest of us.

PLAYER #7
Oh, damn! So we just lost three grand?

PLAYER #3
Looks like it.

PIT BOSS
I’m sorry, sir, but you’re hand hit the muck and it was face down. We can’t award the bad beat to you.

The table lets out a big moan.

Pages twenty-six through twenty-nine.

I’m not finished with the following scene, but there is a lot to it. It’s been a hard one for me to write. I think this is my fourth rewrite of it already. I play a lot of poker and I know all the subtleties of it and I keep wanting to include that in the script. But that’s a big no-no. The more complex you make a script, the worse it becomes. You don’t want to include what a character is thinking or feeling, but what his actions are. You also don’t want to include what the screenwriter is trying to convey with exposition. You’re not writing a book. You only want to write action that the audience can see and dialogue. Everything else is unnecessary.

(Pages 26-29)
INT. CASINO

Martin is sitting at a poker table with nine other POKER PLAYERS and a
DEALER.

The dealer deals two cards to everyone.

PLAYER #3
I fold.

PLAYER #4 throws his cards into the muck.

PLAYER #5
Fold.

PLAYER #6
Make it forty dollars.

DEALER
Forty dollars to play.

PLAYER #7 gives his cards back to the dealer.

PLAYER #8 is getting a cocktail from the waitress.

DEALER
Sir, it’s forty dollars to stay in.

PLAYER #8
Oh, I’m sorry.

He turns to his cards and looks down at them. He pushes his cards into the muck.

PLAYER #9
I call.

DEALER
We have one caller.

Martin looks down at his cards and see two kings. He calculates before he acts.

MARTIN
I raise. Make it two-forty.

DEALER
Another raise. It’s now two hundred and forty dollars to stay in.

PLAYER #1 folds.

PLAYER #2 folds.

Player #6 hesitates for several seconds before announcing…

PLAYER #6
I call.

DEALER
One caller.

PLAYER #9
How much is in the pot?

DEALER
I’m sorry sir, I’m not allowed to count it for you.

PLAYER #9
Two-forty, two-forty, four-eighty plus fifty-five is five-thirty. Eh, it’s almost three to one. I call.

DEALER
We have two callers.

The Dealer scoops all the chips into one big pot. He burns a card and turns over three cards on the center of the table.

King, king, ace.

PLAYER #3
Wow, what a flop.

Again, Player #6 hesitates before he acts.

PLAYER #6
I bet three hundred and fifty.

He stacks up the chips in front of him and pushes them forward.

PLAYER #9
That’s an easy fold for me.

He mucks his cards.

Martin plays with his chips as he calculates for several seconds.

MARTIN
I call.

Martin counts his chips and pushes them forward.

The Dealer collects all the chips and puts them into the pot. He burns a card and turns one to the center of the table.

Two.

Player #6 takes his time before he taps the table indicating a check.
Martin takes his time as well.

MARTIN
I’m going to bet.

Martin starts counting chips.

DEALER
Player has announced a raise.

MARTIN
Fourteen hundred dollars.

DEALER
Player has announced a raise of fourteen hundred dollars.

Player #6 looks visibly shaken. He leans back into his chair and crosses his arms. He waits a couple of minutes before announcing…

PLAYER #6
I call.

There’s a quiet murmur from the other players and everyone is leaning forward in their chairs.

DEALER
Player calls.

Player #6 counts his money and puts them forward.

The Dealer collects them and puts them into the pot.

The Dealer burns a card and turns the river to the center of the table.

Ace.

There’s another collective moan from the table.

PLAYER #3
That’s unbelievable.

Player #6 hesitates, but it’s shorter than the other times, before he announces…

PLAYER #6
I’m all in.

Martin stands and quickly shouts…

MARTIN
I call!

Player #6 turns over a pocket pair of aces.

Pages twenty-two through twenty-five.

I’ll admit, this is my favorite scene. Yes, I’m a pervert. Researching the items for Sophia’s costume was a lot of fun. I would post a picture of what I have in mind, but I can’t on my iPad. So how about a link (sans whip) instead?

A lot of thanks goes to my writing group for making this a better scene than the original. Maybe someday I’ll post it.

(pages 22-25)
INT. PERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

A loft apartment with a wide open space and very few items in it.

Perry opens a jar containing blocks of feta cheese, soaking in brine, and pulls out a chunk of feta. He places it on a plate. He closes the jar and puts it back into the fridge.

PERRY (V.O.)
I had a little feta…

Perry slices a small sliver of feta and eats it. He then opens a loaf of french bread and rips it apart and places it on the plate next to the feta.

PERRY (V.O.)
…a little french bread..

Perry grabs a bottle of wine and a wine glass. He uses a wine opener to open the wine and pours a generous portion.

PERRY (V.O.)
…a little wine…

Perry grabs the glass of wine, takes a drink and walks over to his stereo. He plays a CD of Greek music.

PERRY (V.O.)
…and listened to a little bit of Greek music.

Perry sits in a chair and listens to the music.

The doorbell rings.

Perry opens it.

SOPHIA, 20/30s, gorgeous woman, stands there with an extra-large purse around her shoulder.

SOPHIA
Hey, Perry!

PERRY
Hey, baby. Come in, come in.

Sophia walks in and her and Perry kiss each other on each cheek.

SOPHIA
How have you been?

PERRY
Can’t complain. You want some wine?

SOPHIA
Sure.

PERRY
Red fine?

SOPHIA
Red’s my favorite. I’m going to make myself a little more comfortable.

PERRY
Please do.

Sophia enters the bathroom.

Perry pours her a glass of wine. He takes it to the bathroom door and knocks on it.

PERRY
Your wine.

A hand emerges from the bathroom to take the glass.

SOPHIA (O.S.)
Thanks, sweetie.

She closes the door.

Perry has a seat on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. He then eats some of the feta and french bread while he finishes off his glass of wine. He pours himself another glass.

Sophia exits the bathroom holding a whip and wearing a red leather bustier, black satin opera gloves, black garter belt, thigh high fish net panty hose and high heels.

She cracks the whip.

SOPHIA
So who’s been a naughty boy?

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM

HUSBAND and WIFE, 50s, are laying in bed watching T.V.

The noise of screams, moaning, sex and whips is coming from the ceiling above interrupting their T.V. watching.

HUSBAND
God damn it! How many times do I have to tell this asshole to be quiet? What time is it?

WIFE
Eleven-thirty.

Husband gets out of bed and puts on his robe and slippers.

WIFE
Where are you going?

HUSBAND
I’m going to go have a talk with him. This is ridiculous.

WIFE
Just give him a call. He always turns it down after you call him.

HUSBAND
I call him all the time. It’s time a put a little scare into him.

Husband exits.

WIFE
Scare? That’ll be the day.

INT. ELEVATOR

Husband is riding up the elevator. It stops and he exits.

INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Husband walks down the hallway and arrives and Perry’s apartment. He knocks loudly.

HUSBAND
Damn it, Perry, I can hear your T.V. downstairs again! How many times do I…

The door opens, interrupting the husband.

Sophia stands there with some of her costume still on. She has the whip in her hand, but her bustier is missing exposing her breasts. She’s also wearing a strap-on.

Perry is behind her tied to a contraption, naked, with a gag in his mouth.

SOPHIA
You were saying?

HUSBAND
I…uh….I…um…I,I,I um…I’m sorry.

Sophia slams the door in his face.

INT. RESTAURANT

Perry and Martin are at the restaurant.

PERRY
I just stayed at home and relaxed.

Perry takes a sip of his coffee.

PERRY
So what did you do?

MARTIN
Oh, you know, the usual.

CUT TO:

Page twenty-one.

I sometimes get asked what program I write my scripts with and the answer is Celtx. It has all the features I need and best of all, it’s free. When I started, I used Final Draft, which, to me, is expensive at $250. It’s been a long time since I’ve used it, but I don’t remember it being much different from the free Celtx. Final Cut does offer a free demo. I should take a look and see if it’s $250 better than Celtx. Somehow, I doubt it.

Now on to the screenplay…

I thought I had the next ten pages written, but when I went back to get my old script, the scenes weren’t at all what I thought they were. Somewhere along the line, I must have synced an old Celtx script over a new one. Celtx offers you the chance to go back and look at all your revisions, but I’m just going to move forward. I have the best elements still in my head so I’m sure recreating them will be easy. Besides, they weren’t perfect anyways. If I were at home on my pc instead of writing on my iPad, I’d probably go back and look for the revisions, but it’s no big deal.

(Page 21)
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Martin hands the register drawer to the CASHIER, 20s, female.

MARTIN
Have you seen Perry?

CASHIER
He’s upstairs.

MARTIN
Thank you.

Martin ascends the stairs to the second level in the tri-level restaurant.

Perry is sitting at a two chair table, sipping soup, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper.

Martin walks over and has a seat.

MARTIN
Hey, Perry, whatchya readin’?

PERRY
(in a thick Greek accent)
You know, the usual, murders, rapes, babies in trash.

MARTIN
At least we have our politicians to make us feel better.

PERRY
HA!

A WAITER, 20s, male, walks over.

MARTIN
Give me an espresso please. So, what did you do last night?

CUT TO:

INT. PERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT