Page 54.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

Sam wants forgiveness.

Jimmy wants his money.

Saul wants to stay relevant.

Dino wants his girlfriend.

Perry wants his childhood back.

What does Martin want? I still haven’t figured that one out.

(page 54)
INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Darkness.

The phone rings.

Sam rustling in the sheets.

SAM
(pissed)
God damn it!

Sam turns on the light.

Perry and Martin are standing over him. Martin has his cell phone opened. He was the one making the call.

SAM
What the fuck are you doing here?

MARTIN
Let’s go. Jimmy wants to talk to you.

SAM
I’m not going anywhere. Get the fuck out of here.

MARTIN
Let’s go. Get on some clothes.

Sam grabs the phone. Martin grabs it from him and rips it out of the wall.

SAM
Hey!

MARTIN
LET’S GO!

Martin opens up his dresser drawer and starts throwing clothes at him.

Sam grabs the lamp and tries to hit Perry with it. It’s a feeble attempt and Perry easily blocks it. Perry then grabs Sam and pins him to the bed.

MARTIN
Okay, no more nice guys.

Martin takes out zip ties and ties Sam’s hands up while Perry holds him.

SAM
You guys are through. Breaking and entering, assault, kidnapping.

MARTIN
Shut up.

Martin grabs one of the socks he threw at Sam and shoves it into Sam’s mouth.

MARTIN
(to Perry)
Let’s go.

Perry picks up Sam and throws him over his shoulder.

CUT TO:

Pages 46-53.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

I’ve recently started reading full scripts. It sounds stupid, but I never really did that before. Sure, I have read many screenwriting magazines with full breakdowns, etc., but the only screenplays I’ve ever read were Pulp Fiction and The Matrix. So based on GITS recommendations to improve my writing ability, I’ve started their 1, 2, 7, 14 format to read 1 script a week, watch 2 movies a week, write 7 pages a week and work 14 hours on prep work for the next script. And just in the past week, I feel like it’s making a huge difference. I think my pages are more fluid and read much better.

On to the script:

I thought Martin calling Jimmy in the last scene broke the tension, so I decided to move it into Jimmy’s scene below.

(page 46-53)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Empty bottle of champagne. The steady creaking of a bed with people having sex on it. Two half-filled champagne flutes. Men’s black dress socks on the chair. Women’s panties on the floor.

MARY
Don’t stop, don’t stop. Oh yeah.

Saul is having sex, missionary style with MARY SCHUMER, 60, and holding up very well for her age. Mary is naked. Saul still has his white t-shirt on. Mary’s hands are on Saul’s ass pulling him in and out.

SAUL
(cumming)
Aaaaah!

Saul collapses on Mary. Stays there for a minute, kisses her and rolls off.

MARY
(turning towards Saul)
That was wonderful.

SAUL
Oh yeah? I’m glad you’re happy.

MARY
You’re not?

SAUL
I came didn’t I? That means I’m happy.

Mary laughs.

Saul checks his watch. Sits up on the side of the bed.

SAUL
I gotta go.

MARY
Oh c’mon. Don’t leave already.

SAUL
(leaning over and kissing her)
Sorry, babe. I gotta get home.

MARY
Why don’t you just leave her?

Saul stands up and begins getting dressed, limping around while he does. We see the huge bruises on his legs where the car bumper hit him.

SAUL
Honey, you don’t leave someone you’ve been with for fifty years. Don’t confuse what we have here as a relationship. I mean, I love it and I think you’re terrific, but I’m not leaving my wife.

MARY
Hand me my purse.

SAUL
(looking around)
You’re free to look for something else. I don’t care if you move on.
(finding her purse, handing it to her)
In fact, I hope you do. You’re a wonderful woman, you deserve to be with someone that’s going to make you happy.
(beat)
And if they don’t, they’ll answer to me.

Mary pulls a joint out of her purse then a lighter.

MARY
(lighting the joint)

Saul, I can’t find men twenty years younger than you with your energy.

Mary takes a long toke of the joint.

SAUL
What can I say? I’m one of a kind.

Mary offers the joint to Saul.

SAUL
I can’t. I don’t want to smell like pot when I get home.

MARY
Oh? So you’d rather smell like sex?

SAUL
(sarcastic)
Haha.

Saul is dressed now. He pulls out the ring box to make sure he still has it.

SAUL
Okay, babe. Gotta go.

Saul goes over and kisses Mary passionately.

MARY
Call me.

SAUL
Sure thing.

Saul limps off with cane in hand.

CUT TO:

INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Spacious house. Reeks of wealth. A large top-of-the-line kitchen with granite counters, dual ovens, etc.

ELIZABETH DIMITRIOS, 42, striking beauty, has a game hen roasting in the oven. She checks it. Jimmy embraces her from behind.

ELIZABETH
Oh my.

She turns and kisses him.

JIMMY
Tommy’s at Damon’s. Ashley’s about to go on a date…

ELIZABETH
(interrupting)
Her first date.

JIMMY
Her FIRST date. That just leaves you and me and a big house with lots of places to do it.

ELIZABETH
(laughing)
Well, just keep it in your pants until she leaves.

JIMMY
Her date better get here soon, or I’m not going to make it.

She laughs. Jimmy pulls her in for a long kiss.

The doorbell rings, breaking the mood.

JIMMY
Speak of the devil. I’ll get it.

ELIZABETH
I’ll open us a bottle of wine.

INT. JIMMY’S FOYER – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy opens the door to TRAVIS JACKSON, 18, a tall, young, well-dressed black kid.

JIMMY
Hello?

TRAVIS
Hi, I’m Travis. I’m here to pick up Ashley.

BEAT

JIMMY
Come in.

Travis enters.

JIMMY
(pointing)
Have a seat in the living room. I’ll get her.

TRAVIS
Thank you.

Travis walks into the living room while Jimmy turns and goes into the kitchen.

INT. JIMMY’S KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy marches into the kitchen to speak to Elizabeth. There is a kitchen island between them.

JIMMY
(quietly)
You never told me he was a black kid.

ELIZABETH
(pouring a glass of wine)
So?

JIMMY
(quietly)
So!? So, you should’ve told me.

ELIZABETH
What difference does it make?

JIMMY
It’s just…I don’t – I should’ve been told.

ELIZABETH
Jimmy, we live in the twenty-first century. Our kids go to school with black kids, Chinese kids, Mexicans, everything. It’s not like when we were kids. They’re going to meet and like kids of other races and you know what?

JIMMY
What?

ELIZABETH
It’s a good thing. Travis is Mr. Basketball. All-State. He’s going to MSU next year with a full ride. And he’s valedictorian. Don’t judge him by his color.

Jimmy, speechless, turns and exits.

INT. JIMMY’S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Jimmy enters. Travis is sitting quietly.

JIMMY
So, I hear you’re good at basketball?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir, the best in the state.

JIMMY
I like the confidence. So you’re going to play for Izzo?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
That’s great. I like it when our kids stay and go to local schools. It kills me when they go to Ohio State.

Jimmy grabs a walnut-shell from a bowl on the small table next to him.

TRAVIS
My dad is the same way. He wouldn’t even let me go look at their campus.

JIMMY
Smart man. I can’t wait to meet him.
(picks up bowl, offering)
Walnut?

TRAVIS
Sure.

He leans over and grabs a walnut.

Jimmy takes the walnut in one hand and cracks it. He removes the nut and eats it. Travis watches and tries to do the same thing. He puts both hands on it and nothing. He even leans his body into it but he can’t break the shell.

JIMMY
Oh. Here.
(hands him a nutcracker)
So, where you headed tonight?

TRAVIS
We’re going to see a movie.

Travis uses the nutcracker and opens the shell.

JIMMY
(nodding his head)
That’s good. That’s nice. So, you’re driving.

TRAVIS
(eating the nut)
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
You have your license?

TRAVIS
Yes, sir.

JIMMY
Okay. Well if you do any…

The phone rings interrupting Jimmy.

JIMMY
(to Travis)
Hold on.
(answers phone)
Hello?
(beat)
No, I never called him.
(beat)
He what?
(beat — Jimmy’s mood changes mid-conversation — he’s visibly getting pissed)
That doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what he’s talking about. If that fucker is trying to fuck me over, so help me God. Call, Perry and bring him in. I want to talk to him in person.
(beat)
No, no, no, don’t touch him. I want him to be clear when I look him in the eye.

Jimmy hangs up. His mood instantly changes to what it was before he took the call. A chameleon.

JIMMY
Where were we?

TRAVIS
Uh…uh…uh..I don’t -

JIMMY
(interrupting)
Oh yeah, if you do anything to hurt my girl, I won’t be happy.

TRAVIS
Oh, I won’t.

JIMMY
That’s good.
(picks up the walnut bowl, offering)
Another walnut?

TRAVIS
No, thanks.

CUT TO:

Pages 44-46.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

I’ve updated this scene to show Martin with a wad of cash. Just trying to build suspicion.

(pages 44, 45 & 46)
INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

PLAYER #1
Look who it is.

PLAYER #2
Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
(to Pitboss)
Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

PLAYER #1
(to Pitboss)
Me too!
(to Player #2)
Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

MARTIN
Where the fuck is our money?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
What? Who is this?

Martin moves closer to the cashier as the line in front dwindles.

MARTIN
Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

SAM
What? Is this a joke?

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

SAM
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

MARTIN
What? What time? To Jimmy?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah to Jimmy.
(beat)
Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it where he told me to.

Martin moves up to the cage and places a large rolled up wad of cash on the counter. The CASHIER looks up.

MARTIN
(to the Cashier, whispering so Sam can’t hear)
Ten grand, please.
(confused)
What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

SAM
I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

BEAT

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
What kind of shit you trying to pull?

SAM
(getting upset)
Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

Click.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

Martin, standing with his rows of chips in one hand, looks at his phone in the other. What the fuck?

He places another call, this time to Jimmy.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah?

MARTIN
You didn’t get a payment from Sam did you?

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
No.

MARTIN
He just told me you called him last night and had him drop it somewhere.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
No, I never called him. Drop it where?

MARTIN
I don’t know, but it sounded like bullshit. I just wanted to check before I did anything.

JIMMY (PHONE/OVER)
Bring him in.

MARTIN
Yes, sir.

Click.

Martin stands with his chips in his hands desperately wanting to play poker, but turns back to the Cashier.

MARTIN
Cash these back in.

CUT TO:

Pages 43-45

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

If this seems earlier then the other scenes, that’s because it is. I’ve gone back and fixed to make the times play right. Yes, Sam went to bed with the Sun still out. Old people do that sometimes.

(pages 43, 44 & 45)
EXT. LAKESIDE PROPERTY – LATE AFTERNOON

The sun is beginning to set.

From the street side, the house doesn’t look like much, but once you walk around the back, it has a gorgeous view of the lake Superior.

The house has a FOR SALE sign on it. No one is home. Perry walks from the front to the back to take in the view. He pulls a folding lawn chair near the back door and walks it down to the edge of the lake.

He unfolds it and has a seat digesting the view.

BEAT

He makes a phone call.

PERRY
(broken English)
Yes, hello? This is Perry Konstintina. You looking for house for me.
(beat)
Good. I want house on 2313 Lakeside.
(beat)
No offer. I buy full price.
(beat)
That’s okay. I want house. I pay.
(beat)
You get paperwork ready soon?
(beat)
Good. Thank you.

CUT TO:

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO

Martin is inside of the POKER ROOM in Greektown casino. There are lots of tables and lots of action going in. It’s a full night.

Martin is standing in line for the cash exchange.

Two other poker players, PLAYER #1, PLAYER #2, spot Martin standing in line. Player #1 taps Player #2 on the shoulder.

PLAYER #1
Look who it is.

PLAYER #2
Oh shit. It’s that fish from the other night. We better move to his table.
(to Pitboss)
Hey Chief, I need a seat change.

PLAYER #1
(to Pitboss)
Me too!
(to Player #2)
Let’s just hope he has some money left over from last week’s massacre.

Action moves back to Martin as he makes a phone call to Sam.

MARTIN
Where the fuck is our money?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
What? Who is this?

MARTIN
Oh, don’t play dumb. You know who the fuck this is.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam flips on the light. There’s no blood or Woman.

SAM
What? Is this a joke?

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
Joke? It’s no joke. You’re behind on your payment.

SAM
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I paid this morning.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

MARTIN
What? What time? To Jimmy?

SAM (PHONE/OVER)
Yeah to Jimmy.
(beat)
Well, not to Jimmy, but to the drop. I dropped it off where he told me to.

MARTIN
(confused)
What the fuck are you talking about drop? I talked to Jimmy around four today and he said you hadn’t paid yet. I don’t know what you’re talking about drop.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

SAM
I dropped it off where he told me to drop it off. Under the bridge, off Conant.

BEAT

MARTIN (PHONE/OVER)
What kind of shit you trying to pull?

SAM
(getting upset)
Hey, Jimmy called me last night and told me to drop it off under a bridge. Go talk to him. And stop fucking calling me this late at night, God damn it!

Click.

INT. GREEKTOWN CASINO – CONTINUOUS

Martin looks at his phone. What the fuck?

CUT TO:

Pages 40-42.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

(pages 40, 41 & 42)
EXT. DOWNTOWN DETROIT – AFTERNOON

Sam is sitting at a park bench, still wearing the dirt stained suit, eating his dinner of coney dog, french fries and a coke.

The hustle and bustle of the city is all around him. Detroit is hoping today and Sam is sitting still enjoying his dinner.

Across from him is the Woman, just staring at him. Blood starts to seep through her hospital gown between her breasts. Slowly at first, then a lot. Suddenly her whole front is drenched in blood. Sam ignores her.

CUT TO:

INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT

It’s a Detroit ghetto party store complete with bullet-proof partition separating the ARAB CASHIER from the customers.

Dino is looking at the myriad selections of alcohol. He’s holding the same suitcase Sam had dropped off earlier. He grabs a forty ounce of Old English 800. He makes his way to the register.

There’s a CUSTOMER at the register. He grabs his lotto ticket and begins to walk out the door. Dino slides to the register taking his place. He stops and comes back walking through Dino to get back in line.

CUSTOMER
(shouting)
Yo, man, you have me the wrong numbers!

ARAB CASHIER
(with an Arabic accent)
What man?

CUSTOMER
(mocking the Arab with deliberate speech)
You…gave…me…wrong…numbers.

He pushes the ticket back through the partition.

CUSTOMER
Give me the right numbers, man.

The Arab cashier grabs the lotto slip that the customer filled out and looks at it.

ARAB CASHIER
No, man, I give you right numbers. See here.

He holds up the lotto slip to the customer.

CUSTOMER
No, I crossed that number out. It’s supposed to be an X on the seven. I didn’t want…

DINO
(interrupting)
I’ll take your ticket.

CUSTOMER
What?

DINO
Let me buy the ticket he gave you and just get a new one. It’ll take him forever arguing with you.

CUSTOMER
Straight up, man.
(to Arab cashier)
Yo, give me my ticket back.

The Arab passes it through the glass.

CUSTOMER
Five bucks.

Dino hands him the five.

CUSTOMER
(to Arab)
Now run that shit again, but switch the six with seven, like it shows on the ticket.
(to Dino)
I always get June and July mixed up.

Dino smiles.

CUT TO:

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sam undresses and throws his suit in the dry clean bag. He strips down to his t-shirt and undies.

INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

Sam washes his face, brushes his teeth, etc. Each time he pops up from the sink, we expect to see the Woman, but she never appears.

INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

Sam exits the bathroom and goes to get into bed.

In the bed, is the Woman. She’s holding the sheets open for Sam to join her. The bed is saturated in blood. Sam climbs in with her. She pulls the sheets over Sam and wraps her arms around him. He closes his eyes.

CUT TO:

Pages 37-39.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

I went back to page 35 and fixed the houseboat idea. I had just read an article on Yahoo about houseboats and they looked so cool that I thought that would be good motivation for Perry, but then I realized you can’t have houseboats year round on the Detroit river. It freezes. So I scraped it for an aft cabin and he’s looking for a piece of property so he can dock it close by.

I think the following two scenes perfectly paint Saul as someone who is capable of stealing Jimmy/Saul’s money. It’s all implied of course leaving many suspicious characters.

(pages 37, 38 & 39)
INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON

Jimmy is sitting at his desk counting payroll.

Martin and Perry enter Jimmy’s office.

MARTIN
Hey boss.

Jimmy looks up.

JIMMY
Is it that time of the month already?

MARTIN
Yes, sir.

Jimmy turns and opens the safe. He pulls out a rolled stack of hundred-dollar bills.

He turns and opens the stack up and begins counting. He quickly peels off some and stops and picks one up. He rubs it. He puts it aside and takes out a marker and marks it. The liquid changes colors revealing that it’s fake.

MARTIN
What’s the problem?

JIMMY
A fake one.

Jimmy continues to go through the stack and pulls out a couple more, setting them aside. He turns and pulls out more stacks from the safe. He repeats the process and pulls out fifteen or so hundred-dollar bills.

JIMMY
What the fuck is this?
(to Martin)
Feel that.

He hands the hundred to Martin. Martin rubs it and passes it to Perry. Perry rubs it.

JIMMY
Look how many there are and they don’t even feel real. Either we have a cashier that’s purposely letting these fake bills through or…

MARTIN
Or what?

CUT TO:

INT. JEWELRY STORE – AFTERNOON

Saul is looking at diamond rings. Big diamond rings.

SALESMAN is pulling out more cases for him to look at.

SAUL
So these are all flawless?

SALESMAN
Yes, these are the best of the best. Perfect clarity, flawless. Look at one of these compared to this.

The Salesman pulls out a ring from another case and holds it up to one that Saul is looking at. Separately, they both look clear and white. Together, the cheap one looks blue.

SALESMAN
You see that? The J color looks like it’s blue when set next to a colorless one.

SAUL
Yeah. It’s perfect. So you think this will put me back in her good graces?

SALESMAN
It worked for Kobe Bryant. And he raped a girl.

The Salesman smiles his own joke.

SAUL
I’ll take this one.

Saul picks out a huge gaudy ring. It’s not subtle.

SALESMAN
Excellent choice, sir. She will be very happy. It’s twenty-five thousand dollars plus tax. How do you want to pay for it?

SAUL
Cash.

SALESMAN
Cash?

Saul pulls several stacks of hundreds out of his suitcoat’s pocket.

SAUL
Cash.

CUT TO:

Page 36.

Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

The writing has slowed down. I feel like I’m in completely new territory. I did an outline of what I’d like to show during day two and it’s something like this:

  • Saul purchases a $25,000 diamond ring for his wife.
  • Martin finds out Perry made a large down payment on a piece of land.
  • We find out Martin likes to play poker and is pretty bad and loses a lot of money at it.
  • I also want to build upon Jimmy’s character, but am unsure on how to do that at this point. A work in progress. I need to do a Jimmy blog like I did for Sam.
  • Sam’s character arch. When should I reveal the Woman is Sam’s wife? When do I reveal how Sam killed her?

  • (page 36)
    INT. SMALL’S BAR – AFTERNOON

    The bar is empty. Lou is sitting at the bar watching TV when Sam walks in.

    Sam is still covered in mud from the tumble he took before.

    LOU
    Hey, Sam. Glad to see you made it home safely last night.

    SAM
    Yeah. Thanks for that.

    Lou gets up and walks behind the bar. He grabs the bottle of scotch and pulls out a tumbler.

    LOU
    The usual?

    SAM
    Yeah.

    Lou pours him a scotch on the rocks and places the glass on a napkin in front of Sam.

    Sam seems distant, lost in thought. He places his hands near his head mimicking a prayer. The Woman is sitting on the bar stool next to him. He ignores her. He holds out his hands to see how steady they are and neither of them are shaking.

    SAM
    You know what, Lou?

    LOU
    What’s that?

    Sam pulls off his wedding ring and drops it in the scotch.

    SAM
    I’m done drinking. How about a water?

    CUT TO:

    Page 35.

    Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

    Below, you’ll see that I’ve changed the Martin / Perry restaurant scene. I needed to give Perry motivation to steal the money if provided the opportunity. I think this gives him that.

    I’ve also changed Sherry’s (Dino’s girlfriend) name to Helen after Helen of Troy. This story won’t measure up to that one, but I like the parallel of Greeks kidnapping a beautiful young woman. The motivations are different though.

    (page 35)
    INT. RESTAURANT – AFTERNOON

    Martin is leaning on the booth near the register. At the register is a
    pretty CASHIER.

    When Martin isn’t doing Jimmy’s dirty, he, along with Perry, acts as manager of the restaurant. Tonight, it’s a slow night as he scans the first floor of the restaurant.

    MARTIN
    (to the cashier)
    I’ll be upstairs.

    Martin disengages himself from the booth and walks up the marble slab stairs.

    Perry is sitting at one of the tables with reading a boat trader magazine. Martin sits across from him.

    MARTIN
    You get that boat yet?

    PERRY
    (in Greek)
    Not yet. Still need the property to put it on. Land on the water is very expensive. This is the one I want.

    Perry holds up the magazine to Martin showing him a photo of a house boat. The price is $335,500.

    MARTIN
    Nice.

    PERRY
    (in Greek)
    I’ll have my boat anchored right in the Detroit river. Look across the river into Canada. It’ll be just like when I was a child in Psarades on lake Prespa.

    MARTIN
    The Detroit river is not Greece.

    PERRY
    (very thick accent)
    I know.
    (in Greek)
    But this is the closest I’ll ever get to it here.
    (beat)
    Plus the women!

    MARTIN
    Oh yeah? Women like house boats?

    PERRY
    (in Greek)
    Oh yeah, women love boats. There’s something about the water. The parties. It’s fun, happy all the time.

    MARTIN
    You going to invite me?

    PERRY
    Of course.
    (in Greek)
    You’ll be the first one I invite.
    (beat)
    Speaking of women. Did you pick up the girl?

    MARTIN
    Yeah.

    PERRY
    (in Greek)
    Good looking?

    MARTIN
    (with emphasis)
    Oh yeah.

    PERRY
    (in Greek)
    Is she worth everything?

    MARTIN
    Is any woman?

    The Call — Act I (pages 1-34)

    Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

    A lot has changed. I reworked the timeline of events to make more sense, I fixed some scenes and I added a new one with Saul. I think it’s my best effort to date. The only glaring problem I see is that Perry hasn’t spoken yet.

    {The Call — Act I (pages 1-34)}

    INT. SAM’S OFFICE – MORNING

    Modest office. White walls, two chairs facing a desk. A computer on the desk accompanied by a photo of a pretty middle-aged woman. Some nice artwork decorating the white walls.

    SAM WEINSTEIN, 63, sits behind the desk wearing a lab coat. He’s staring at the photo of the woman. He pulls a small flask from his desk and pours some alcohol into a coffee mug half-filled with coffee. He uses his finger to stir his drink and takes a gulp. He leans back in his chair firmly gripping his coffee mug.

    There’s a knock at the door.

    Sam hurriedly straightens up in his chair and stuffs the flask back into his desk.

    SAM
    Come in.

    GLENDA FLETCHER, 54, pokes her head into the room.

    GLENDA
    Do you have a minute?

    SAM
    Yeah. Come in.

    Glenda takes a seat.

    GLENDA
    The disciplinary board has decided to terminate your contract here at the hospital.

    SAM
    (confused)
    What?

    GLENDA
    We’re going to offer you a severance package, but as of today, you no longer work here.

    SAM
    (in disbelief)
    But I’ve been here thirty years. You can’t just fire me.

    GLENDA
    Well, we have. I’m sorry, Sam.

    SAM
    What the…you’ll be hearing from my lawy…

    GLENDA
    (interrupting)
    For Christ’s sake, Sam, you left a scalpel in a patient! You know how much that’s going to cost us? We have to let you go just so we can afford the malpractice insurance that’s sure to go up. Jesus, Sam, what were you thinking?

    SAM
    (defiant)
    I make one mistake in the three decades I’ve been here and the first thing you do is fire…

    GLENDA
    (interrupting)
    That’s not a mistake, that’s gross negligence. You almost killed him.

    SAM
    He’s fine. He was back on his feet the next…

    GLENDA
    (interrupting again)
    Having a scalpel..

    SAM
    (interrupting her)
    Jesus Christ! Will you stop interrupting me?

    BEAT

    GLENDA
    Are you drunk?

    SAM
    What? No!

    Glenda goes to smell the mug in Sam’s hands. He pulls it away from her.

    GLENDA
    I can smell it from here. You’re drinking whiskey at nine in the morning?

    SAM
    It’s none of your fucking business.

    GLENDA
    I’ve heard rumors that you’re drinking on the job, but I didn’t want to believe them. A drunken cardiac surgeon. Unbelievable. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    Glenda turns and walks towards the exit.

    GLENDA
    Pack your things and be out of here today, please. Stop by human resources on your way out. You’ll have paperwork to sign. I suggest you do it.

    Glenda exits.

    Sam rubs his finger around the rim of his coffee mug. He leans back into his chair, closes his eyes and takes a drink.

    When Sam opens his eyes, a MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN, is sitting across from him with her hands resting gently in her lap. In her hands is a scalpel. Sam is so unnerved he flings his mug into the air spilling the rest of his drink on himself. The mug smashes on the ground.

    Sam looks down at the mug. When he looks up, the middle-age woman is gone.

    SAM
    Shit!

    CUT TO:

    INT. RESTAURANT – AFTERNOON
    A large restaurant in downtown Greektown in Detroit, Michigan. It has three levels that uses a marble slabbed staircase to get up each level.

    The first level, other than two small booths directly across from the entrance, is mostly comprised of large booths to host larger parties.

    At one of the large booths, ALWAYS near the entrance for Jimmy, is JIMMY DIMITRIOS, 56 with four of his other cronies: ANGELO, NICKOLAS, LARRY and GUS.

    The five are having an after-dinner conversation, but the camera doesn’t show Jimmy until he speaks.

    ANGELO
    (in mid-conversation)
    …she’s the fucking nastiest bitch I’ve ever seen at a strip club. I thought that sign “one ugly one” was fake…a joke. I had no idea they actually went out and fucking found an ugly one. And I know it’s Saul. I look over at him and he’s got this shit-eating grin on his face and I’m thinking to myself, “I am going to kill this motherfucker.”

    The table laughs.

    ANGELO
    I’m fucking serious. I thought I was going to take that motherfucker out into the parking lot and kill him. It wouldn’t have mattered though. That fucker probably would have walked away from a bullet in the head. I’ve never seen anyone so goddamn lucky. He’s had, what, a triple-bypass, melanoma cancer, a kidney transplant…

    GUS
    (interrupting)
    Don’t forget that time he fell down the flight of stairs.

    ANGELO
    Oh yeah, he only broke his arm that time.

    LARRY
    That time he got drunk and rolled his car over.

    ANGELO
    Is he a vampire?

    Table laughs.

    ANGELO
    He has to be. He’s a fucking vampire. A wooden stake through the heart is the only thing that can kill him.

    LARRY
    Speaking of Saul, where has he been?

    GUS
    I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him. He hasn’t been to church in a while either.

    ANGELO
    I hope he’s dead.

    LARRY
    Hey! That’s not nice to…

    JIMMY
    (interrupting)
    Speak of the devil!

    Finally we see Jimmy. His face, masculine and rugged, speaks confidence. He has the natural good looks of someone that always gets what they want.

    A well dressed old man, SAUL BASS, 71, is fighting with the door of the entrance and the door is winning. The CASHIER runs over to give Saul a hand opening the door. Saul is using a cane and limps through the door using it.

    SAUL
    (to the Cashier)
    God damn! Why do you make the doors so hard to open? You don’t want any customers?

    CASHIER
    I’m sorry, sir.

    JIMMY
    (yelling over the restaurant)
    SAUL! Never mind the door and get over here.

    Jimmy uses his arm to motion him over.

    Saul limps over.

    SAUL
    I swear to God, if I come back and those doors are still there, I’m never coming back!

    JIMMY
    The doors have been there for fifty years and they’re not going anywhere. Where the fuck have you been?

    Saul has a seat at the booth.

    SAUL
    I just got out of the hospital.

    JIMMY
    What were you doing in the hospital?

    SAUL
    My wife ran me over.

    ANGELO
    What?

    SAUL
    What, are you deaf?
    (yelling)
    I SAID MY WIFE RAN ME OVER!

    ANGELO
    Okay, Saul, quit being a prick.

    Saul puts his hand to his ear.

    SAUL
    (acting deaf)
    WHAT? YOU WANT MY PRICK? I knew when you wouldn’t fuck that stripper you were a queer.

    The table erupts in laughter.

    LARRY
    Okay, okay, enough of the bullshit. Why did your wife try to run you over?

    SAUL
    Eeeeh, she found out about my mistress.

    LARRY
    You’re mistress? Saul, you’re seventy years old!

    SAUL
    So? That doesn’t mean I don’t have a dick.

    Again the table laughs.

    SAUL
    I still want to fuck. And if the ball and chain isn’t going to do her job, I’m going to find someone that will.

    While Saul was in his conversation a well-dressed handsome man, MARTIN VAKALIS, 42, strolls over to the table and leans into Jimmy’s ear and whispers something.

    JIMMY
    Excuse me gentlemen, I have some business to take care of.

    As Jimmy and Martin walk away from the table we hear Saul in the background:

    SAUL
    Who do I have to fuck to get a drink around here?

    JIMMY
    That fucking Saul is something else. So, where did you find him?

    MARTIN
    He was staying with a girlfriend.

    Jimmy leads Martin towards the back of the restaurant and into the kitchen.

    INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    The sounds of banging pots and pans, food sizzling and cooks shouting goes unnoticed by Jimmy and Martin as they continue their conversation.

    JIMMY
    How did you find his girlfriend’s location?

    MARTIN
    His wife told us.

    JIMMY
    No shit? Another husband fucking his wife over.

    They make their way through the kitchen to a pair of steps that lead into the basement.

    INT. BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS

    The basement is dark and dingy with cheap wood shelves built to store the restaurant’s supplies. There are small puddles of water in the basement.

    Jimmy and Martin descend the steps into the basement.

    They walk through the basement to a door located in the back.

    Martin knocks.

    PERRY KONSTINTINA, 48, a very large man, opens a sliver of the door and peers out. He see’s that it’s Martin and he opens the door.

    Martin and Jimmy walk in.

    INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    A large dusky office. Concrete floors. Cheap wood paneling making it even darker. There’s a desk at the far end from the door. Jimmy doesn’t believe in computers. A calculator on the desk with a paper spool. A large floor safe sits behind the desk.

    DINO SISTANI, 45, is sitting in a chair across from the desk.

    JIMMY
    I’m very disappointed, Dino. I never thought I’d have to chase you down.

    Jimmy sits on the desk right across from Dino within striking distance.

    DINO
    I’m sorry, Jimmy, I’m sorry. Look, man, I got in over my head. I was double-crossed. I had a buyer lined up and on the way…

    JIMMY
    (interrupts)
    Dino, I don’t want the labor pains. Just deliver the baby.

    DINO
    What?

    JIMMY
    Aren’t women expensive?

    DINO
    What? Yeah, sure. I guess so.

    JIMMY
    You guess so? Didn’t Martin find you with your girlfriend, cheating on your wife?

    DINO
    Yeah. So?

    JIMMY
    I have a wife. She’s expensive. Always with the shoes, women love shoes and I have no idea why. Anyway, so here I am, with a wife that I can barely afford, loaning you money. And you have a wife AND a girlfriend and you’re borrowing money from me.

    BEAT

    DINO
    I don’t know what you want me to say Jimmy?

    JIMMY
    I want you to say you have my fucking money!

    DINO
    But I don’t have the money.

    JIMMY
    Then where is it?

    DINO
    I don’t kn….

    Before Dino can finish, Jimmy has impaled him in the thigh with a letter opener from his desk.

    DINO
    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

    Perry double checks the door to make sure it is closed.

    Dino looks the letter opener protruding from his leg. There’s blood everywhere and he’s afraid to touch it. He’s sweating profusely.

    JIMMY
    Does that refresh your memory?

    DINO
    I don’t have it, I’m sorry, I don’t have it. It’s gone, it’s all gone.

    JIMMY
    So I guess we have a dilemma. I guess, since you spent all my money on your girlfriend, I’ll have to have a girlfriend myself. Martin, go get me a girlfriend.

    MARTIN
    Yes, sir.

    DINO
    Jimmy, please don’t. Please. She has nothing to do with it.

    JIMMY
    Give me my money back and I’ll give you your girlfriend back.

    CUT TO:

    INT. SMALL’S BAR – NIGHT

    A low-brow neighborhood bar. A dark and seedy place. Not the kind of place you’d expect a surgeon to drop by. There is a long bar rail with bar stools and only a handful of booths and tables.

    There is no one at the bar rail and only a few people seated at the booth.

    The proprietor and current barkeeper, LOU SMALL, 52, looking every part the biker with long gray streaked hair and beard, tattoos running up and down each arm with a white short sleeve t-shirt, blue jeans and silver chain attached to his wallet in his back pocket, is wiping beer steins clean when Sam walks in.

    LOU
    Hey, Sam. How are you doing?

    SAM
    Hey, Lou. Give me a glass of your finest scotch. I’m celebrating.

    Sam has a seat at the bar.

    Lou grabs a bottle of scotch.

    LOU
    Oh yeah? What’s the occasion?

    SAM
    I retired today.

    LOU
    No shit? Well, congratulations!

    Lou pours the scotch in a tumbler over some ice cubes.

    LOU
    How many years were you there?

    SAM
    Too many. Too fucking many.

    Lou plops the drink on a napkin in front of Sam.
    LOU

    That one’s on me. Congratulations, again.

    SAM
    Thanks a lot, Lou. I appreciate it.

    LOU
    Let me pour one for myself and we can toast.

    Lou pours the same drink for himself.

    Lou holds his glass up.

    LOU
    To retirement.

    Sam goes to pick up his glass, and just before he grabs it, his hand starts to tremble. He snags it with his opposite hand and holds it.

    LOU
    Is something wrong?

    SAM
    No. No. I’m fine.

    Sam lets his hand go and grabs his drink and holds it up.

    LOU
    To retirement.

    The two tap glasses together and drink. Lou takes a sip. Sam drinks the whole thing.

    Sam smacks the glass back down.

    SAM
    Another, sir.

    CUT TO:

    INT. EAST JEFFERSON APARTMENT’S HALLWAY – NIGHT

    Martin walks down the hall of an apartment complex.

    Martin arrives at an apartment and rings the doorbell.

    SHERRY FOGLE, 21, is a very attractive female — the kind that makes it hard for men to stay faithful — opens the door as far the chain lock lets her. She peeks from behind the door.

    SHERRY
    (surprised)
    What the hell do you want?

    MARTIN
    Dino wanted me to pick you up.

    SHERRY
    I’m not going anywhere with you.

    MARTIN
    Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Dino’s fine.

    SHERRY
    (studies him. Cautious)
    Then why didn’t you bring him here?

    MARTIN
    (more serious)
    Look, I’m not going to bullshit you. If you want Dino to stay alive, you’ll come with me.

    SHERRY
    (beat)
    Let me get my things.

    Sherry closes the door. Martin puts his ear to the door to eavesdrop.

    INT. SHERRY’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS

    Sherry picks up the phone and dials 911. She walks into the kitchen and takes out a chef’s knife from a butcher’s block.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Nine-one-one, what’s the emergency?

    SHERRY
    (whispering)
    Yeah, hi police? I have an intruder at my apartment.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Is he in the apartment?

    SHERRY
    No, not yet.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Which apartment are you calling from?

    SHERRY
    East Jefferson Apartments, two-two-seven.

    Martin kicks the door in with one swift kick.

    SHERRY
    Oh, God, he just kicked the door in! Please hurry!

    Sherry drops the phone.

    SHERRY
    Stay away from me! I’ll cut you. I don’t care.

    Sherry holds the knife in front of her with both hands gripping it fiercely.

    Martin never stops advancing on her position.

    MARTIN
    (casually)
    Why do you have to make this more difficult than it needs to be? We have no interest in hurting you. We’re only protecting our investment.

    Sherry takes the knife and quickly lunges at Martin. Martin swiftly grabs the knife hand, twists her arm behind her and forces her to drop the knife. He then puts her into a headlock until she passes out.
    Martin slings Sherry over his shoulder and walks out of the apartment.

    INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Martin whistles as he carries Sherry down the hallway and to the elevator. He pushes the down button. There is no one around. The elevator door opens and he enters.

    INT. ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

    Martin whistles while the elevator descends from the twenty-second floor.

    INT. APARTMENT FOYER – CONTINUOUS

    Two POLICE OFFICERS enter one of the elevators just as the other elevator opens up for Martin and Sherry. SO CLOSE — They just pass each other.

    Martin never stops whistling. Like he’s done this a hundred times before.

    CUT TO:

    INT. SMALL’S BAR – NIGHT

    There are more PEOPLE at the bar than before. It’s a happier more vibrant place, polar opposite of Sam who…

    …can barely keep his eyes open and is swaying in his stool. He puts his arm on the bar and starts tapping it to get Lou’s attention.
    Lou comes over.

    LOU
    I’ve got a taxi on the way, Sam. He’s going to take you home.

    SAM
    I want another drink.

    Lou pours him a glass of water.

    LOU
    Here’s some water.

    SAM
    (speech is slurred)
    I don’t want water. Another scotch!

    LOU
    I can’t Sam, it’s closing time. The taxi is going to take you home.

    Sam closes his eyes.

    SAM
    I don’t want to go home. There’s nothing for me there.

    TIME CUT

    More time passes and the bar has fewer people in it.

    The TAXI DRIVER, a large black man, 36, enters.

    TAXI DRIVER
    Lou! Who needs a taxi?

    Lou points to Sam who has his head buried into his arms on the bar. He appears to be sleeping.

    TAXI DRIVER
    Really?

    The Driver walks over and, yep, Sam is sleeping.

    TAXI DRIVER
    You wanna give me a hand?

    The Taxi Driver and Lou carry Sam out the door.

    EXT. SAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT

    The Taxi Driver pulls into the driveway of a large Victorian style home.

    INT. TAXI – CONTINUOUS

    The Drivers’s eyes are fixed on that big house.

    TAXI DRIVER
    Yo, my man, you rich?

    There is no response.

    TAXI DRIVER
    YO!

    The Taxi Driver turns and sees that Sam is passed out.

    TAXI DRIVER
    Shit.

    EXT. TAXI – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Driver exits his taxi and goes to the back door. He opens it and reaches in.

    INT. TAXI – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Driver lightly slaps Sam in the face, but Sam doesn’t wake up. So the Driver slaps a couple of more times and keeps slapping harder each time. Sam is unwavering.

    TAXI DRIVER
    Are you fucking kidding me?

    The Taxi Driver climbs out of the car.

    EXT. SAM’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Driver climbs the front porch and rings the doorbell. No one answers. He rings again. Again nothing.

    INT. TAXI – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Driver starts rummaging through Sam’s pockets until he finds the keys. As he exits, he drags Sam out with him.

    EXT. TAXI – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Drivers slings Sam over his shoulder fireman style and carries him to the house.

    The Driver gets to the door and tries three different keys until he finds the right one.

    INT. SAM’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

    The Driver carries Sam in. He sees the couch in the living room and it looks too small and uncomfortable. He looks at the stairs leading up to the second floor.

    He pauses. It’s a lot of work.

    He starts climbing the stairs.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    The Taxi Driver places Sam on the bed and removes his shoes.
    The Driver starts rummaging through Sam’s pockets until he finds Sam’s wallet. He opens it and there’s almost a thousand dollars in it with several hundreds, fifties and twenties. The driver pulls out three twenties and puts it on Sam’s nightstand.

    The Driver goes to exit the bedroom and stops. He returns to the wallet, opens it and takes all the money. He exits the bedroom.

    INT. EAST JEFFERSON APARTMENT’S HALLWAY – NIGHT

    The elevator opens and Dino, with his upper thigh wrapped, limps down the hallway towards Sherry’s apartment. As he gets closer he sees a POLICE OFFICER walking out of the apartment. He limps faster, visibly concerned.

    He arrives at the door and the Police Officer is preventing anyone from going in.

    DINO
    What happened?

    POLICE OFFICER
    Did you know the person that lived here?

    DINO
    (hesitating)
    Um, no. I mean yes. I mean, I live on this floor so I’ve seen her from time to time, but I don’t know her, know her.
    (beat)
    Is she okay?

    POLICE OFFICER
    We don’t know yet. We haven’t found her. Have you seen anyone suspicious tonight or recently?

    Dino peers into the apartment and sees other OFFICERS and DETECTIVES in there.

    DINO
    Um, no. Not that I can recall.

    POLICE OFFICER
    (calling inside the room)
    Detective!

    One of the Detectives walks over.

    DETECTIVE
    What is it?

    POLICE OFFICER
    This gentleman lives here. I thought he should have your card in case he remembers seeing anything.

    The Detective pulls out his card and hands it to Dino.

    The Detective pulls out a pad of paper and a pen.

    DETECTIVE
    What’s your name and number.

    DINO
    Why?

    DETECTIVE
    I might need some information later. You are her neighbor, right? I’m sure you’ve seen something or someone and just can’t recall right now.

    It may come back to you.

    DINO
    Oh, okay. I’m Fred Elroy. Two, three, five, three, three, eight, two.

    DETECTIVE
    Thanks, Fred. I’ll be giving you a call.

    DINO
    Please do.

    Dino limps away back towards the elevator.

    CUT TO:

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

    Sam stirs in his bed and wakes up. He notices his surroundings and realizes he’s home. He climbs out of bed and staggers towards the bathroom attached to the room.

    INT. BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam races towards the toilet and throws up. He finishes and flushes.
    Sam goes to the sink and runs the water. He washes his face and rinses out his mouth. He finishes and turns off the water. When he raises his head from the sink, the Woman from his office earlier is standing behind him. She grabs Sam’s head with her left hand pulling it back to expose his neck and uses her right hand to slice his throat with the scalpel.

    Sam clutches his throat and falls backwards into the shower, bring down the curtains with him. Blood is spurting everywhere and the Woman is gone.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam wakes up gasping for air and clutching his throat. His breathing rate quickens as he continues to suck in air. He looks around the room.

    The phone rings, startling him.

    Sam lets it ring several seconds before he answers.

    SAM
    Hello?

    VOICE (PHONE/OVER)
    Where the fuck is my money?

    SAM
    What? Who is this?

    VOICE (PHONE/OVER)
    You know who the fuck this is! Where is my fucking money?

    SAM
    What time is it?

    Sam looks at the clock. It says 3:18.

    VOICE (PHONE/OVER)
    It’s time for you to pay me my fucking money!

    SAM
    Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow morning?

    VOICE (PHONE/OVER)
    Don’t fuck with me. Do I need to send someone over?

    SAM
    No, that isn’t necessary. I’ll bring your money.

    CUT TO:

    INT. DINO’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

    It’s extremely late. No one is expected to be up at this hour. Dino sneaks into the front door and enters the living room which is pitch black.

    Dino hits a light switch exposing a small modest house. It’s well-kept and has been decorated with a feminine touch.

    Dino tiptoes into the kitchen.

    INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    Dino walks into the kitchen and turns on the light.

    LIZ SISTANI, late forties, well past her prime but the remnant of beauty is still there, is sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of wine. Tears have caused her mascara to run down her face.

    Dino leans against the kitchen wall.

    DINO
    I’m sorry, babe.

    LIZ
    Yeah, well, we’re all sorry after the fact.

    DINO
    I never meant to hurt you.

    LIZ
    How the fuck is sticking your dick in another bitch not supposed to hurt me?

    BEAT

    Dino sits down at the table next to Liz.

    DINO
    I’m in the worst kind of trouble and I don’t know what to do and I know I don’t deserve it, but I need your strength to help me make it through.

    LIZ
    I don’t have enough strength to help you anymore.

    DINO
    I’m not getting out of this one.

    LIZ
    Sounds familiar. How much?

    BEAT. Dino does not want to answer.

    LIZ
    How much, Dino!?

    DINO
    A hundred grand.

    LIZ
    A hundred grand? A hundred grand?

    Liz smashes the cigarette out into the ashtray. She gets up and angrily paces around the kitchen.

    LIZ
    A hundred fucking grand, Dino!? What the fuck do you need a hundred grand for? Where’s the money? What did you spend it on?

    DINO
    It’s gone, Liz. Does it really matter where I spent it?

    LIZ
    Of course it fucking matters!

    DINO
    You know me, babe. I’m always trying to make moves. Trying to give you the life you deserve.

    Liz stops dead in her tracks.

    LIZ
    The life I deserve? Is that what you were thinking when you were fucking that teenager?

    Dino, again, doesn’t want to answer.

    LIZ
    Answer me. Is that what you were thinking when you were fucking her?

    Liz slaps Dino across the face.

    LIZ
    Were you?

    DINO
    Hon…

    Liz slaps him again. Dino just sits there taking it.

    DINO
    I never meant to hurt you. She doesn’t mean anything to me.

    LIZ
    I don’t believe you.
    (beat)
    I can’t trust you.
    (clutches her stomach)
    I’m physically sick to my stomach right now. I just want you to get the fuck out of here and I never want to see you again.

    DINO
    Please don’t do this to me, Liz. I need you.

    LIZ
    You don’t need shit but to get out of my house you fucking bastard!

    Liz starts flailing her arms and attacking Dino. Dino fights to stand up to defend himself. Once Dino is standing, Liz starts pushing him by the face towards the living room.

    INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    LIZ
    Get the fuck out! Get out! I hate you, motherfucker! I hate you! Get out!

    Liz pushes him all the way to the front door.

    LIZ
    Get out, Dino, and I never want to see you again.

    Dino manages to open the front door and escape. He turns around to…

    DINO
    I love you, Liz. I’m…

    Liz slams the door on him.

    CUT TO:

    EXT. SAM’S HOUSE – MORNING

    The sun begins to rise through the trees. Birds are chirping, grass is moist and the streets are silent.

    INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam stirs in his bed, groggy and hung over. He climbs out of bed and drags himself into the bathroom.

    INT. SAM’S BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Sam turns on the water and rinses his face. He lifts his head to look into the mirror and the Woman is behind him again. He panics and puts his hands over his head to protect himself, much like a boxer does. As he does this, he quickly swivels to face her, falling backwards, and smashes his head into the mirror breaking it. He looks for her, but she’s gone.

    SAM
    (screaming)
    FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

    EXT. SAM’S HOUSE – MORNING

    Sam exits his house, carrying a briefcase, and descends the front stairs. He takes his keys and hits the unlock button on his car. There’s an empty space where his car should be.

    SAM
    (the light switch clicks on)
    Shit.

    INT. TAXI – MORNING

    The CAB DRIVER is a young white guy, 26.

    Sam is leaning back with his eyes closed.

    The Cab Driver looks in the mirror and sees Sam is looking a little rough.

    CAB DRIVER
    Rough night, huh?

    Without opening his eyes, Sam replies.

    SAM
    Uh, yeah, rough night.

    CAB DRIVER
    Smart man, taking the taxi last night. No need to get a DUI. A cab ride is much cheaper.

    SAM
    Mmmmhmmm.

    CAB DRIVER
    I can’t believe people still drink and drive. I read about a DUI accident every day in the paper. You’d think people would use better judgement. Especially since the laws are so much stricter now. A DUI can really ruin your life.

    SAM
    Hey, look buddy, I just…

    Sam opens his eyes. The Woman is sitting in the front seat of the Taxi looking back at Sam. Sam is frozen for a moment.

    CAB DRIVER
    Yeah?

    SAM
    (to the woman)
    What do you want from me?

    She doesn’t answer. She just stares at Sam.

    CAB DRIVER
    Uh, nothing.

    Sam clutches the chain gate that separates the front and back seat of the taxi.

    SAM
    (to the woman)
    Say something! What do you want? Please tell me what you want.

    CAB DRIVER
    Look, mister, I don’t know what you want. I don’t want anything.

    SAM
    (to the woman)
    Say something, damn it!

    Sam closes his eyes and slouches his head down. He’s gripping the cage so fiercely his knuckles are white.

    SAM
    (to the woman)
    Please tell me what you want.

    The Cab Driver looks back and realizes he’s talking to someone else.

    The Driver parks the car.

    CAB DRIVER
    We’re here.

    Sam looks up and the Woman is gone. He realizes he must look like an ass to the Cab Driver so he tries to compose himself by straightening his coat and tie.

    Sam pulls out his wallet to pay. It’s empty.

    SAM
    Shit.

    CUT TO:

    INT. BANK – MORNING

    Not the typical bank you go into. This one has been set up for the special interests of clients. It is more a collection of offices and people who specialize in different banking needs.

    Sam, still holding the briefcase, walks up to a room inside a bank. The title card on the door reads JEREMY FRANKLIN / WEALTH MANAGEMENT.

    INT. JEREMY FRANKLIN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    The office is sterile with generic motivational posters on the wall. There’s a desk, monitor, photos of the family and some cabinets hung on the wall above the desk.

    JEREMY FRANKLIN, 45, black guy in a nice suit is sitting behind the desk.

    JEREMY
    Mr. Goldstein.

    Jeremy stands and extends his hand. Usual pleasantries.

    JEREMY
    How are you doing today?

    Sam shakes his hand.

    SAM
    I’m okay. You got the money ready?

    JEREMY
    Yes, sir. Have a seat.

    They both sit down.

    JEREMY
    I know we’ve discussed this before, but I must again strongly advise against closing out these accounts.

    Sam shakes his head in understanding. 

    JEREMY
    You’re taking massive losses on these accounts for taking them out early. You’re not at retirem…

    SAM
    (interrupting)
    Mr. Franklin…

    JEREMY
    (interrupting)
    Please call me Jeremy.

    SAM
    Jeremy, I wouldn’t take this money out if there wasn’t a reason to.

    JEREMY
    Isn’t there any other way to raise the money you need?

    SAM
    I already have two mortgages on the house. Two other loans out there. I can’t think of any other option.

    JEREMY
    I see.
    (beat)
    I just need some signatures here.

    Jeremy opens up a folder and shows Sam the little yellow sticky pointers showing Sam where to sign. Sam grabs the pen and starts signing.

    SAM
    I’m going to need it in cash, please.

    JEREMY
    Okay.
    (hesitating)
    I’m not sure if we have that much in the vault, but I can certainly go find out.

    SAM
    Thanks. And put it in here please.

    Sam hands Jeremy the briefcase.

    JEREMY
    I’ll be right back.

    Jeremy grabs the check and exits.

    SAM
    (to himself)
    What am I doing?

    CUT TO:

    INT. BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS

    Jimmy walks through the basement to his office and goes to unlock the door, but it’s already unlocked. He opens it and steps in.

    INT. JIMMY’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Saul is sitting at the desk with his reading glasses on and going through Jimmy’s books.

    JIMMY
    Saul, what are you doing in here.

    SAUL
    Just going through the books.

    JIMMY
    Why?

    SAUL
    I just want to see if you’re making any money.

    Jimmy peers over Saul’s shoulder and sees the safe is open. All the money appears to be there but the files are out and Saul is combing over them.

    JIMMY
    Saul, this is…

    SAUL
    (interrupting)
    Before you say anything…(beat)…my kids have all moved out-of-state. My wife wants to kill me. Fuck, I’ll just come out and say it…I’m bored. I just wanted something to do. I thought I’d come over here and make sure you’re taking care of the family business.

    JIMMY
    But this isn’t a family business. You sold it to me. You sold me the books. You sold me the restaurant.

    Saul takes off his glasses.

    SAUL
    Jimmy, you’re like family to me. I wouldn’t have just sold this to anyone.

    JIMMY
    (ceding)
    Okay. But, please, next time, let me know you want to come down here. And how the fuck did you get in here anyways?

    SAUL
    I’m seventy years old. I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve.

    CUT TO:

    INT. CAR – NOON

    Sam is driving. The briefcase is on the passenger seat.

    POV — We see that Sam is on the highway.

    OFFSCREEN A telephone rings several times.

    SAM (V.O.)
    Hello?

    VOICE (V.O.)
    Where the fuck is my money?

    SAM (V.O.)
    What? Who is this?

    VOICE (V.O.)
    You know who the fuck this is! Where is my fucking money?

    SAM (V.O.)
    It’s not easy to raise that kind of money. It took some time.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    I don’t fucking want excuses.

    SAM (V.O.)
    It’s not…It’s ready. I’ll bring it by tomorrow.

    POV — We see the highway exit sign for JEFFERSON EAST.

    Sam takes the exit.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    Good. I need you to drop it somewhere else, though.

    SAM (V.O.)
    What? Why?

    Sam turns left.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    There’s too much heat. I’ve got a drop for you.

    SAM (V.O.)
    Sure. Whatever. Where?

    VOICE (V.O.)
    East of downtown, where Jefferson and Conant meet, go south on Conant.

    POV — We see the JEFFERSON / CONANT street sigh.

    Sam turns right.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    You’ll drive over a bridge. Under that bridge is a trash can, which is weird, because no people should be down there to put trash in it. I want you to put the briefcase in it.

    POV — We see the bridge and Sam drives over it.

    Sam pulls the car over, grabs the briefcase and exits the car.

    EXT. BRIDGE – CONTINUOUS

    Sam looks around. It’s the ghetto. No houses for miles. No one in sight. You can see the Detroit river from here.

    SAM (V.O.)
    Are you fucking with me? I’m not a damn errand boy. Send one of your lackeys.

    Sam walks towards the bridge.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    Hey, asshole! Who owes who money here? Shut the fuck up and do what I say.

    Sam descends the hill and trips. He rolls down the hill and lands into a puddle of mud. He stands up and is covered in mud.

    SAM (V.O.)
    Then are you done with directions or do I need to hire a stenographer?

    Sam finds the trash can and stuffs the briefcase in it. The Voice is right — there is no reason there should be a trash can here.

    VOICE (V.O.)
    The money better fucking be there.

    OFFSCREEN We here the click of a phone being hung up.

    Sam climbs up and out of the bridge. Gets in his car and drives away.

    CUT TO:

    Scene swaps.

    Filmmaking, Screenwriting, Writing

    I decided to swap in a scene to cover a flaw I thought of so the pages are all messed up now. When I hit the thirty page mark, I’ll post them as Act I.

    I was thinking about the course of action and I realized that in my first script, Dino doesn’t go to check if Sherry is okay, even though he knows Jimmy is going after her. I realized this is either a flaw in the script or an element to his character. Either I have to show him going to check on her or show him make the decision that his wife was more important; either way, it has to be shown not implied. So I’m going to have him check on Sherry, but he’s too late as she’s already been kidnapped by Martin.

    So I slid in the below scene to occur after Sam receives the call and before he wakes up.

    (pages ??-??)
    INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY

    Martin walks down the hall of an apartment complex.

    Martin arrives at an apartment and rings the doorbell.
    SHERRY FOGLE, 20s, very attractive female, opens the door as far as the chain lock lets her. She peeks from behind the door.

    SHERRY
    (surprised)
    What the hell do you want?

    MARTIN
    Ah, good. You do remember me. Dino wanted me to pick you up.

    SHERRY
    You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you.

    MARTIN
    Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Dino’s fine.

    SHERRY
    (studies him. Cautious)
    Let me get my things.

    Sherry closes the door. Martin puts his ear to the door to eavesdrop.

    INT. SHERRY’S APARTMENT – CONTINOUS

    Sherry picks up the phone and dials 911. She walks into the kitchen and takes out a chef’s knife from a butcher’s block.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Nine-one-one, what’s the emergency?

    SHERRY
    (whispering)
    Yeah, hi police? I have an intruder at my apartment.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Is he in the apartment?

    SHERRY
    No, not yet.

    OPERATOR (PHONE/OVER)
    Which apartment are you calling from?

    SHERRY
    East Jefferson Apartments, two-two-seven.

    Martin kicks the door in with one swift kick.

    SHERRY
    Oh, God, he just kicked the door in! Please hurry!

    Sherry drops the phone.

    SHERRY
    Stay away from me! I’ll cut you. I don’t care.

    Martin continues to casually walk towards her.

    MARTIN
    (casually)
    Why do you have to make this more difficult than it needs to be? We have no interest in hurting you. We’re only protecting our investment.

    Sherry takes the knife and quickly lunges at Martin. Martin swiftly grabs the knife hand, twists her arm behind her and forces her to drop the knife. He then puts her into a headlock until she passes out.

    Martin slings Sherry over his shoulder and walks out of the apartment.

    INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Martin whistles as he carries Sherry down the hallway and to the elevator. He pushes the down button. There is no one around. The elevator door opens and he enters.

    INT. ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS

    Martin whistles while the elevator descends from the twenty-second floor.

    INT. APARTMENT FOYER – CONTINUOUS

    Two POLICE OFFICERS enter one of the elevators just as the other elevator opens up for Martin and Sherry. The Officers never see him as he walks out of the apartment complex whistling.